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Welcome to BenWoods.com
Maybe I'm in a small minority, but I'm still confused how so many people are duped every so often by an e-mail virus. Let's take this step by step:
A guy walks into his workspace at 7:30 a.m., preparing for another exciting day of whatever. He opens his inbox to find 50 e-mails -- 45 promising him to lose weight, financial freedom or cheap Viagra four from actual friends, probably chain letters and one other with a subject header of "Open repeatedly, this is not a virus," which of course is from firstname.lastname@example.org.
You cannot escape the Internet. OK, you're right, you can. You can move to Uruguay. But for all the trouble, you might as well find a computer and get busy.
A lot of people have been talking about designing a "homepage," which has nothing to do with your living quarters. Simply put, a homepage is the portal to the most important information on a particular Web site.
Computers can be your friends. No, they won't take you to lunch or buy you a drink. But they can do more than collect dust. Assuming you are human (and if not, don't let that stop you from reading), you probably fit into one of four categories:
1. You still use a typewriter, you're still building a bomb shelter, and your best friend in grade school was Robert "Robbie" E. Lee.
Editor's Note: This was Ben's final column while writing for the Crawfordsville (Ind.) Journal Review.
This will be the last column I write for the Journal Review. I may start them again sometime in the future. I would like to. But for now, this will have to do.
If any of you have column ideas, please still tell them to me and send them. I will keep a list, and somewhere down the road, maybe they will let me do this again.
In a day and age when there are so many different types of people, with various races, ethnicities and personalities, there is one type I'm more likely to associate with frequently.
I have an insatiable and unconscious desire to surround myself with Dr Pepper drinkers.
But IÃm also convinced that most Dr Pepper drinkers are psychotic.
Which comes first is unclear. And calling someone psychotic can be misconstrued, so Dr Pepper drinkers, donÃt take this personally. But ponder the following arguments.
From the Archive
Since the full article is no longer available online, I figured it would be easiest to just post right here.
Ex-Owensboro resident pens humorous Internet novel
By James Mayse | Messenger-Inquirer | 06/11/05
Although Ben Woods has been writing a computer column for years, he didn't spend much of his early years writing fiction. Before moving to Owensboro to join the Messenger-Inquirer and, later, Red Pixel Studios, Woods' last short story was written when he was in high school.
I received an email from Morgan a couple of weeks ago, wondering why I was posing as a global warming expert. The funny thing is, I don't ever recall mentioning I was a global warming expert, although I did write a column about it.
Microsoft continues its march toward competing with Google by launching Bing Maps. I took it for a quick test run, and in general, it's pretty comparable to Google Maps. There's hardly a discernible difference between the two, honestly. You can change routes pretty easily, look for local businesses and email links to friends. Probably the strangest thing I noticed, however, is that the base URL turns into bing.com/maps, instead of remaining maps.bing.com.
If you have managed to ignore all talk so far about the upcoming presidential election, I commend you from a particular standpoint. How on earth can you tune out something as important as that? Do you have the new Bose BodyPhone, which enables a person to completely shut off the real world entirely? I thought the BodyPhone was only in prototype?
I haven't written too much lately about technical support issues, so I decided I would tell you a little bit about a normal day here at the office.
First off, I think I have the second-biggest office in the place, behind the publisher. But that's only because I used to share an office with my boss, and he's not here anymore. There are four computers (two G4s, an iMac and a PC), six monitors and six chairs. I try not to use them all at once, but sometimes, I can't help myself, especially during puppet shows.