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It's August 21, 1858, in Ottawa, Ill. You had planned on eating your lunch, which consists of whatever they ate in 1858, plus a box of Twinkies, but instead you are attacked by the flock of people heading to the public square. The sun is shining brightly so brightly, you decide it must be 1:55 p.m. You notice two people on stage, both men in their 40s. One of those guys looks just like Abraham Lincoln.

Wait a minute, it is Abraham Lincoln!

Riding in a car during a long trip is a lot like sitting in front of a computer for a day. You know, staring aimlessly at whatever is in front of you thinking of a million different places you'd rather be and yelling to no one in particular because you've just encountered the Leave-on-Your-Left-Turn-Signal entourage.

I'm not going to lie, I'm short on time this week because, well, I'm on vacation. But that doesn't mean I shouldn't give all six of you something to ponder for at least the next eight minutes.

I've been trying all day to download Macster, a cousin of Napster. It's just not working. At least I have been able to get a few other things taken care of, such as shearing my sheep.

I'm becoming rather disappointed in the Internet's search engines. The other day, I couldn't find my keys, and neither could any of them.

There has been a lot of speculation lately about how much Google is worth, what will happen when the company goes public with shares, what's the difference between a google and a gaggle, etc.

So I did a Google news search on Google. Apparently the financial world is no longer so smitten with the search engine and more company. It seems the IPO figure Google is expecting is unflated, and on top of that, the company is buying back shares offered in advance to employees.

Maybe it's nice to be the wealthiest person in the world. I guess it would be nice to have a full-time maid or someone to butter a piece of toast for me, if that's what rich people do these days. But you may want to think again about being rich when you hear the number of spam messages that Bill Gates gets every day.

Update (09/28/08): The links in this original column no longer work. I suppose that just goes to show how fast stuff becomes obsolete online!

Everyone likes pictures: taking pictures, posing for pictures, ripping up pictures of exes.

Now that I said that, you're probably thinking you're one of those people who cannot stand getting your picture taken.

For no reason whatsoever, I've decided to over "The Developers" for a buck on the Kindle this month. I tried to offer it free, but the lowest I could go was a dollar. Anyway, if you have a Kindle, check it out!

What constitutes an American tradition? It probably depends on who you ask. When I think of traditions of this country, I think of baseball, apple pie, and freedom (not necessarily in that order ... ). Holiday traditions in the U.S. are a little easier to define, only because they are recognized by a large number of people who live here. Religious traditions can be seen in the same vain, although few religions were actually created in this country.