I'm not going to lie, I'm short on time this week because, well, I'm on vacation. But that doesn't mean I shouldn't give all six of you something to ponder for at least the next eight minutes.

I've been trying all day to download Macster, a cousin of Napster. It's just not working. At least I have been able to get a few other things taken care of, such as shearing my sheep.

I'm becoming rather disappointed in the Internet's search engines. The other day, I couldn't find my keys, and neither could any of them.

I was talking to your computer the other day, and he said you were a little perturbed. He said you didn't appreciate me or anyone else, especially NATO officials, being able to find all kinds of information on you. Wasn't the Computer Age founded on simple things, like privacy and freedom to practice whatever mathematical calculations you wish?

If you're like me, you could use a big bowl of ice cream about now, and you are tired of hearing dot-com this and dot-com that. Soon, you won'tn be hearing this crap anymore. Instead, it might be dot-crap.

The International Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers (ICANN) has decided to expand the current list of top-level domains -- http://www.thestandard.com/article/display/0,1151,16268,00.html?nl=int

HONK!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!?!? DON'T CUT IN FRONT OF ME YOU $#%#$@!!! HONK!!! HONK!!!

If this is you, and you also happen to find yourself saying these things often -- OK, every single time you drive more than 33 inches -- then you may be enthused to know I would like to do something about it.

Yes, soon there could be a way to get back at all of those people who pull up right on your bumper; who say using a turning signal is merely a fad; and who think the word "yield" means "go" and the word "merge" means "get outta my way."

The Recording Industry Association of America hasn't been making too many friends these days. I guess I should say that the organization does have many friends inside the music industry, because that's who makes up the the RIAA.

I'm not here to argue whether it's right or wrong to download free music where it's available, or whether it's OK to listen to your friend's "Beach Boys Greatest Hits Album." I'm just here to point out what the RIAA wants you to believe about the cost of music and CDs.

While I've heard possible book groups picking up "The Developers," I just recently found out that one is taking the next step and actually reading it. The Crawfordsville (Ind.) Public Library is in the process of reading the novel, and the book discussion is set for 6:30 p.m. Dec. 4. I will join the group via audio chat to discuss the book and anything other questions I can answer, at least I hope so!

Apparently, no actual time travelers showed up at the Massachusetts Institiute of Technology's recent time traveler convention. It's hard to tell, though whether or not that means there are no time travelers, they were warned not to show or they just got the time wrong.

With the multitude of problems facing education in America today, it's oftentimes difficult to even consider that anything will ever be resolved. However, there is one thing afforded to U.S. citizens that can give educators hope: the ability to vote. With the presidential primaries in full swing, and the general election coming up in the fall, here's a quick rundown of where each major candidate stands:

Democrats

Hillary Clinton