You made it! Thanks for visiting.
Welcome to BenWoods.com
Those of you who have mastered the art of building a Web site have probably encountered the most important tool known to designers: the protractor.
Coming in second would have to be tables, the backbone to many pages you have visited in your lifetime, or at least within the last three weeks. Tables are the most primitive of the HTML tags because people like to have things in nice readable fashion, excluding tabloid magazines. Most people prefer tabloids that look similar to newspapers more than 40 years ago, which contained at least 343 headlines on each page.
I have one simple request for Christmas -- that someone, ANYONE, will finally be named president. Yes, we have George W. and Al, but if they name Al W. George out of Minot, N.D., instead, that would be fine.
What caused this whole problem? The people of the United States, of course, always trying to stir up trouble, whether it's at the local moose lodge or bingo hall. Can't people fill in the correct circles? Can't people count votes right? Can't people use turning signals when changing lanes?
Is this what the world is coming to? People sitting 6 inches away from each other will not talk to each other but instead, write short e-mails?
Sent: November, Wednesday 1, 2000 11:41 AM
To: Someone else
Did you see that?
Maybe you are one of those people who are completely terrified of computers, the Internet and lemon-flavored cough drops. If so, you probably are no where near being able to read this column, and if I had to guess, you are most likely hiding in a basement in Turkey. That is, if they have basements in Turkey. So if you know someone like this, please print this column immediately and send it to them because it could save their life.
I bet you $100 you've visited an online gambling site.
Ha! What a trick. See, if you said no, but I had to pay you, then it would be gambling.
Online gambling, much like the beginning of this column, seems to be frustrating and silly. For the sake of every potential column reader, I've looked at a few online gambling sites and come to a simple conclusion -- I am sick of blinking Web sites.
From the Archive
Sorry, it's me, not you.
There was a note on my door last Friday from UPS, saying I had a package waiting for me. Luckily, on UPS' Web site, you can see where the package is coming from. Unfortunately, it said somewhere unfamiliar in Massachusetts, so I had no clue what it was.
Today, I arrived home to find the package. In it was an official Major League Baseball 2004 All-Star Game T-shirt.
Aren't you curious about this quirky lady, and the parrot that rides on the top of her hat?
I've stumped myself with a recent philosophical discussion
I had with, um, myself. Who has the last word in an
It's pretty obvious in a face-to-face
discussion. The last person who talks has the last
word. Even if you
hold your ears and scream really loud, it's apparent
who said the last thing. In a phone conversation, this
This Sunday (1-4:30 pm Dec. 4) I will join a number of Kentucky authors in signing books at the Portland Museum Holiday Crafts Sale. The museum is located at 2308 Portland Ave., 40212.
Honestly, I have no clue what type of stuff will be there. The flyer shows authentic Kentucky crafts, books, jewelry, prints, ceramics, greenery, etc. It sounds sort of like a cross between the flea market at the fairgrounds, the St. James Art Fair and a book signing event. Surely someone there will be interested in "The Developers," right?
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you are bad in any way if you aren't a college basketball fan. But being from this area, you'd better know a little something about it because if not, your co-workers are sure to avoid you like a 72-year-old cheese log during the next few days.
March Madness is like a vacation; you wait forever for it to get here, then it's over before you know it. But rarely can you go on vacation and have a chance to win prizes and cash. There's a much better chance of just blowing it all.