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August 13, 1999

The world's not revolving faster, nor have its inhabitants been hibernating, but time is moving faster. If time doesn't slow down, it could get pulled over, and it won't stand a chance in court.

Vacations have a lot to do with the insane pace of minutes. No, not the vacation you take. The vacation other people around you take. Many people working at the Journal have taken trips all across the United States, even to Canada. When someone leaves any business for a break, the remaining people must suffer the consequences.

August 6, 1999

Most sensible people would probably concede, pay the ticket and try harder next time. Not me. Finally, Aug. 2 at 8:50 a.m., the charges were dismissed. I was a free man. But the way it happened was a bit intriguing.

July 31, 1999

Boy it's hot outside. That's why I'm inside now. People keep talking about beating the heat. You've got to be kidding. You couldn't even beat the heat with a large frying pan. To avoid one silly cliché, I've decided to live by another — if you can't beat it, join it. Here's a short list of things to do to join the heat:

Start a fire — You can burn a lot faster, and burn a lot more for that matter. The folks at Woodstock 99 decided to light a few bonfires, loot shops and get really, really angry. Unfortunately, Willie Nelson escaped with few burns.

July 23, 1999

Bad things happen.

There's nothing anyone can do; they just happen. This past week, we saw our fair share of incidents. Nationally, a man whose life has been in a continual spotlight died in a plane crash. Locally, a young woman was found dead after being missing since July 4.

Tragedies strike at all times, mostly when least expected. There are numerous levels of tragedies, yet they all come back to one thing — loss. Losing something or someone can be devastating. But eventually, the void becomes a part of you, while you try fervently to concentrate on other things.

July 16, 1999

In today's society, there are two groups of people — ones who get paid to cut grass and ones who cut grass only because it's their duty to the country. Actually there's a third, smaller group of people, composed mostly of apartment dwellers, kids and travel agents. But they, too, have either had to cut the grass or will in the future.

From the Archive

November 15, 2007

Remember that email you sent to the random senator about spending money to build igloos in the desert? The bad news is that I don't think the interest groups can raise the $200 million you need for research funds. The good news is that the email could be read again 60 years from now and will never be deleted.

February 3, 2003

I'd like to take a minute or 14 to harken back to the good ol' days of the Internet. You know, the days when a visit to the World Wide Web would not produce lifelike video games, revealing images of your next-door neighbor or a directory of Bad Scrabble Hands.

April 21, 1999

There are a plenty of new careers and opportunities these days, yet you rarely see anyone entering the piracy field. Some people have invented their own versions of a shipwrecked pirate - stealing stereos, hacking into computer files, playing baseball in Pittsburgh - but few take their chances on the high seas.

On the other hand, the Assocated Press said pirates killed more people in 1998 than the year before. The International Maritime Bureau reported Malaysian pirates, who killed 67 crewmen last year, are "getting increasingly violent."

Pirates? Violent?

September 6, 2004

Since I put my site up in July, I've been keeping track of how many people visit, including what pages they view, how long they stay on the site, the color of their hair, etc. Looking at the web statistics report is pretty funny sometimes because you can also see what people searched on to get to your site.

October 9, 2007

I've photoshopped a few files in my time. What? I can't say that? Oh great. I've just used the term "Photoshop" illegally.

According to Adobe Systems Incorporated Terms of Use, there are specific ways to use Photoshop. No, not the actual program, but just the word for it. Yes Adobe, we understand that trademarks are important for corporations and the identity of products.