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Boy it's hot outside. That's why I'm inside now. People keep talking about beating the heat. You've got to be kidding. You couldn't even beat the heat with a large frying pan. To avoid one silly clichÃ©, I've decided to live by another â€” if you can't beat it, join it. Here's a short list of things to do to join the heat:
Start a fire â€” You can burn a lot faster, and burn a lot more for that matter. The folks at Woodstock 99 decided to light a few bonfires, loot shops and get really, really angry. Unfortunately, Willie Nelson escaped with few burns.
Bad things happen.
There's nothing anyone can do; they just happen. This past week, we saw our fair share of incidents. Nationally, a man whose life has been in a continual spotlight died in a plane crash. Locally, a young woman was found dead after being missing since July 4.
Tragedies strike at all times, mostly when least expected. There are numerous levels of tragedies, yet they all come back to one thing â€” loss. Losing something or someone can be devastating. But eventually, the void becomes a part of you, while you try fervently to concentrate on other things.
In today's society, there are two groups of people â€” ones who get paid to cut grass and ones who cut grass only because it's their duty to the country. Actually there's a third, smaller group of people, composed mostly of apartment dwellers, kids and travel agents. But they, too, have either had to cut the grass or will in the future.
Nomads have wandered through cities during the last two weeks, sold their goods and departed for lands of milk and honey.
They don't leave a trail, but their wares do – usually ashes, perhaps a foul-smelling odor but always a glowing experience.
Fireworks salespeople have rigorous lives. I recently caught up with one such seller, Smokin' Joe Romancandle. What follows is his normal day:
6 a.m. Wakes up, sings the "Star-Spangled Banner," eats a Pop-Tart and brushes his teeth.
Last month I was in Wal-Mart, and I aimlessly wandered into the vitamin aisle. There were hundreds of nutritional supplement items, but one caught my attention – shark cartilage.
Unfortunately, the label contained little information pertaining to what the product actually does, such as make one lose weight or grow a dorsal fin.
As a kid, I used to see "Jaws" on my wall at bedtime. Now I see health companies trying to withhold routine information on Jaws' cousins.
From the Archive
So you've got your Web page created. You have a great design, with every feature except a toaster. It's the greatest Web site you've ever seen, well, second to this one. But there's just one problem ...
How are you going to make it live?
The next thing you need to figure out is where the site will be hosted. Or better yet, you need to figure out what you expect from a provider.
I've been a computer programmer for quite some time now, but I've never actually been to a programming conference of any sort. That has changed now that I'm attending the DC PHP Conference on Nov. 7-9. The first day of events went about as I expected, considering that there's a lot I need to learn about the tools I use at my current job.
When I read a bad book, I finish it, even if it takes me forever. If I read a good book, I want to keep reading it, as much as possible, until I'm at the ending.
I've made a few adjustments to my new book, "Corporate Ties." While almost completely factually accurate, I have decided to change the names of most of the people involved with the story. Because a few years have passed since the happenings, I think I can be a little more open with people's responses to certain things that occurred. The story line involves following a few individuals through a corporate relocation/layoff process, mixed in with a love story and a large amount of shenanigans. I'm hoping to have the first copies out by Christmas, if plans go accordingly!
The distinction between reality and not reality has intrigued society for thousands of years. When I say society, though, I suppose I'm discussing only those individuals who actually want to discern the difference between the two, since it is readily apparent that a great deal of people rather enjoy the blur between the two worlds. In the past, "unreality" could be considered anything from a dream sequence to joining a secret cult to playing/cheering for your favorite sports team. However, with technology at the helm, we have another life available: one that is virtual.