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Welcome to BenWoods.com

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Use Napster while you can

August 21, 2000

I've been trying all day to download Macster, a cousin of Napster. It's just not working. At least I have been able to get a few other things taken care of, such as shearing my sheep.

Search Me

August 14, 2000

I'm becoming rather disappointed in the Internet's search engines. The other day, I couldn't find my keys, and neither could any of them.

Relax and have some cookies

August 7, 2000

I was talking to your computer the other day, and he said you were a little perturbed. He said you didn't appreciate me or anyone else, especially NATO officials, being able to find all kinds of information on you. Wasn't the Computer Age founded on simple things, like privacy and freedom to practice whatever mathematical calculations you wish?

Dippin (for new) dots

July 31, 2000

If you're like me, you could use a big bowl of ice cream about now, and you are tired of hearing dot-com this and dot-com that. Soon, you won'tn be hearing this crap anymore. Instead, it might be dot-crap.

The International Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers (ICANN) has decided to expand the current list of top-level domains -- http://www.thestandard.com/article/display/0,1151,16268,00.html?nl=int

ILOVEYOU -- here are eight million e-mails

July 24, 2000

Maybe I'm in a small minority, but I'm still confused how so many people are duped every so often by an e-mail virus. Let's take this step by step:

A guy walks into his workspace at 7:30 a.m., preparing for another exciting day of whatever. He opens his inbox to find 50 e-mails -- 45 promising him to lose weight, financial freedom or cheap Viagra four from actual friends, probably chain letters and one other with a subject header of "Open repeatedly, this is not a virus," which of course is from virusdemon@viruscentral.com.

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From the Archive

Movies filled with computer nonsense

September 1, 2003

I cannot really say there is a particular genre of movies I like the best. Comedy, suspense, sci-fi, horror, even those touted by some as chick flicks are enjoyable. Regardless of the type, computers seem to be popping up in movies about as often as I receive email viruses with the subjects "Your details" or "Wicked Screensaver." Way gnarly, dude!

Research help

May 8, 2007

As many of you are aware, I'm in the process of writing my second novel. This novel is closely based on my experience in the business world, so I'm currently rifling through various books on that topic.

Zzzzzz ... uh? Yes, I'm at work!

February 18, 2007

Sitting in front of a computer all day (not to be confused with Otis Redding's "Sittin' on the Dock of the Bay") isn't that glamorous. In fact, it's pretty easy to relax, lose focus on what you are typing slightly, hIT teh wrogn keys, and ... er, what was I saying?

Oh yes, the issue of people falling asleep at their cubes. Wouldn't it be nice to have nap time? At least in New Jersey, bosses aren't enamored with the notion of providing beds for employees.

Proper Netiquette includes reading this column

May 27, 2002

As I agonize about writing this opening paragraph,

I wonder what type of people read this column. I mean,

are they reading this while they chew gum with their

mouths wide open, are they chewing their toenails or,

worse yet, are they putting gum between their toes?

OK, I really wasn't thinking about that, I was wondering

how much Dr Pepper I could drink. But this brings up

Another book update

December 16, 2004

I'm getting extremely close to finally publishing the book I've been writing for at least five decades. I feel like there are just a couple of things left to do, but at the same time, I'm not quite close enough to smell the paper on the newly printed book.

Here's another sample. Actually, this is from the beginning of the book. I will have a couple more updates in the near future regarding the book, including how you can get a free copy. Hey, I need to figure out some way to get people to read it!

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Spumoni Press

Spumoni Press

If you’re in need of help with publishing a book or developing a web site, check out Spumoni Press.

Solving Problems

Check out the latest book in the Caimans at Work series! The caimans’ new store is the talk of the town. But with success comes navigating the speed bumps along the way. Have no fear – Raymond and Damon are always up for the challenge, whether they are finding a recipe, picking the right color, just doing laundry or investigating a peculiar mystery at their favorite place - a party, of course!

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