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The results are in: Bush, Gore lose to The Golf Channel

I have one simple request for Christmas -- that someone, ANYONE, will finally be named president. Yes, we have George W. and Al, but if they name Al W. George out of Minot, N.D., instead, that would be fine.

What caused this whole problem? The people of the United States, of course, always trying to stir up trouble, whether it's at the local moose lodge or bingo hall. Can't people fill in the correct circles? Can't people count votes right? Can't people use turning signals when changing lanes?

E-mails overrunning a business near you

Is this what the world is coming to? People sitting 6 inches away from each other will not talk to each other but instead, write short e-mails?

An example:

From: Someone

Sent: November, Wednesday 1, 2000 11:41 AM

To: Someone else

Subject: Outside

Did you see that?

Spooky sites sound all right

Maybe you are one of those people who are completely terrified of computers, the Internet and lemon-flavored cough drops. If so, you probably are no where near being able to read this column, and if I had to guess, you are most likely hiding in a basement in Turkey. That is, if they have basements in Turkey. So if you know someone like this, please print this column immediately and send it to them because it could save their life.

Keep your eyes open when wagering online

I bet you $100 you've visited an online gambling site.

Ha! What a trick. See, if you said no, but I had to pay you, then it would be gambling.

Online gambling, much like the beginning of this column, seems to be frustrating and silly. For the sake of every potential column reader, I've looked at a few online gambling sites and come to a simple conclusion -- I am sick of blinking Web sites.

Don't let DoS attacks send you to the circus

Sometimes Web sites don't work. They just don't. There are plenty of reasons, including &quot the sun was in my eyes,&quot why a particular site will not work. It's definitely frustrating when you know other sites are working, except the one you want to go to, The Original World Famous Home Appliance Shooting Page, just won't boot.

From the Archive

Recycling computers easy with Apple

If your old computers are starting to stack up in the basement at a rapid pace, there's good news for Apple users.

Apple recently announced that users will receive free shipping and envionmentally friendly disposal of their old machine with a purchase of a new one through the Apple Store or Apple's retail stores. The press release says the program expansion will begin in June.

Looking for celebrities easier than contacting them

So the other day, I remembered I needed to contact Michelle Branch.

This seemed like a simple goal at the onset, but there were various problems: How would I go about actually doing this? What did I need to tell her? Who is she anyway?

Prince may be able to finally get a domain name

Sometimes we take for granted our ability to type in domain names in our native language. It's true that the most of civilization accepts English as the way of the Internet, but researchers agree that it doesn't necessarily have to stay like that.

Of course, this means that in the near future, you might be able to type accented letters, Chinese characters and even cave paintings into your web browser.

Facebook giveaway for "Corporate Ties"

The Goodreads giveaway for Corporate Ties has been a huge success. I had 400 people sign up to receive a free copy of my new book. Of course, not everyone is on Goodreads, so I thought I'd also do a Facebook giveaway.

Author list now available

Authors who are either self-published or with small publishers have an extremely difficult time getting the word out about their novels. Most large publishing houses have money devoted to advertising, and well-known authors usually have their own publicists to handle marketing.

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