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In today's society, there are two groups of people — ones who get paid to cut grass and ones who cut grass only because it's their duty to the country. Actually there's a third, smaller group of people, composed mostly of apartment dwellers, kids and travel agents. But they, too, have either had to cut the grass or will in the future.
Nomads have wandered through cities during the last two weeks, sold their goods and departed for lands of milk and honey.
They don't leave a trail, but their wares do – usually ashes, perhaps a foul-smelling odor but always a glowing experience.
Fireworks salespeople have rigorous lives. I recently caught up with one such seller, Smokin' Joe Romancandle. What follows is his normal day:
6 a.m. Wakes up, sings the "Star-Spangled Banner," eats a Pop-Tart and brushes his teeth.
Last month I was in Wal-Mart, and I aimlessly wandered into the vitamin aisle. There were hundreds of nutritional supplement items, but one caught my attention – shark cartilage.
Unfortunately, the label contained little information pertaining to what the product actually does, such as make one lose weight or grow a dorsal fin.
As a kid, I used to see "Jaws" on my wall at bedtime. Now I see health companies trying to withhold routine information on Jaws' cousins.
Can you keep a secret?
Last week, I met with a special agent from the Department of Defense. I had my shrubbery costume ready (luckily, there were no dogs around), but it wasn't necessary. The agent led me into a room in the Crawfordsville Armory, looked both ways and closed the door. The questioning was ready to begin.
Anyone fed up with the government? Ready to turn in your "Made in the U.S.A." clothing? You could have a chance to do just that — if you move south.
Southern Party organizers have registered with the secretaries of state in Florida, Georgia, Texas and Virginia, according to the Associated Press. The party hopes to establish ties in all former Confederate States plus six border states and eventually secede from the Union, a la the Civil War.
From the Archive
... it doesn't take a super sci-fi buff to see the potential implications of an Internet superpower and the American government operating out of people's homes hand in hand. And that is just the tip of the iceberg. Imagine having a serious love jones while trying to begin a new chapter in the world of technology. With the recent Internet chatter that has been surfacing about larger, more powerful Internet companies the book's message appears to be eerily relevant.
If you haven't already visited Google Earth, you're really missing out. Sure, you can actually visit places in person, but this is one of the best alternatives. That is, assuming you don't want visit random places in the middle of nowhere, which can't be seen anyway in the program.
Although I'm still in the process of setting up book events in Baltimore, I do have at least two confirmed appearances for "The Developers."
At 2 p.m. April 21, I'll be at the Marley Station Borders in Glen Burnie, Md. On the following day, April 22, I will be at the Columbia (Md.) Mall Borders, again at 2 p.m.
Besides the normal meet-and-greet that always occurs at this appearances, I hope to give interested visitors a sneak peek at my new book, which I hope to release at the end of the year.
It's amazing that we live in a time period when at any given moment, we could
find out that everything we previously knew about the universe was incorrect.
But so far, it's safe to say that Mars does exist, the sun is at the center
of our solar system and "Space Camp" really wasn't a very good movie.
If you haven't been following the news lately, or maybe you've been busy with
other things, like selling your belt buckles on eBay, let me go over some
of the recent astronomy highlights:
During the weekend, I began a search to find a suitable agent for my memoir, "Polos to Ties." It's fairly ridiculous how many agents are out there, especially ones that still don't have websites. However, I have narrowed the list to 30-40 who I plan to contact. I'll keep you posted as to what I find out from them, in case there's anyone else out there searching to sell the next great novel.