Skip to main content
BenWoods.com

Main navigation

  • Articles
  • My Books
    • Corporate Ties
    • The Developers
  • About Me
  • Contact me

Welcome to BenWoods.com

You made it! Thanks for visiting.

Grass cutting fun

July 16, 1999

In today's society, there are two groups of people — ones who get paid to cut grass and ones who cut grass only because it's their duty to the country. Actually there's a third, smaller group of people, composed mostly of apartment dwellers, kids and travel agents. But they, too, have either had to cut the grass or will in the future.

What are fireworks salespeople up to now anyway?

July 9, 1999

Nomads have wandered through cities during the last two weeks, sold their goods and departed for lands of milk and honey.

They don't leave a trail, but their wares do – usually ashes, perhaps a foul-smelling odor but always a glowing experience.

Fireworks salespeople have rigorous lives. I recently caught up with one such seller, Smokin' Joe Romancandle. What follows is his normal day:

6 a.m. Wakes up, sings the "Star-Spangled Banner," eats a Pop-Tart and brushes his teeth.

Shark cartilage possesses a mean bite

July 3, 1999

Last month I was in Wal-Mart, and I aimlessly wandered into the vitamin aisle. There were hundreds of nutritional supplement items, but one caught my attention – shark cartilage.

Unfortunately, the label contained little information pertaining to what the product actually does, such as make one lose weight or grow a dorsal fin.

As a kid, I used to see "Jaws" on my wall at bedtime. Now I see health companies trying to withhold routine information on Jaws' cousins.

Can you keep a secret?

June 25, 1999

Can you keep a secret?

Last week, I met with a special agent from the Department of Defense. I had my shrubbery costume ready (luckily, there were no dogs around), but it wasn't necessary. The agent led me into a room in the Crawfordsville Armory, looked both ways and closed the door. The questioning was ready to begin.

Truth, justice and the Southern way

June 18, 1999

Anyone fed up with the government? Ready to turn in your "Made in the U.S.A." clothing? You could have a chance to do just that — if you move south.

Southern Party organizers have registered with the secretaries of state in Florida, Georgia, Texas and Virginia, according to the Associated Press. The party hopes to establish ties in all former Confederate States plus six border states and eventually secede from the Union, a la the Civil War.

Pagination

  • First page
  • Previous page
  • …
  • Page 135
  • Page 136
  • Page 137
  • Page 138
  • Page 139
  • Current page 140
  • Page 141
  • Page 142
  • Page 143
  • Next page
  • Last page

From the Archive

Katie Richardson, Buzz Magazine

July 22, 2012

... it doesn't take a super sci-fi buff to see the potential implications of an Internet superpower and the American government operating out of people's homes hand in hand. And that is just the tip of the iceberg. Imagine having a serious love jones while trying to begin a new chapter in the world of technology. With the recent Internet chatter that has been surfacing about larger, more powerful Internet companies the book's message appears to be eerily relevant.

See the world as it once was

November 16, 2006

If you haven't already visited Google Earth, you're really missing out. Sure, you can actually visit places in person, but this is one of the best alternatives. That is, assuming you don't want visit random places in the middle of nowhere, which can't be seen anyway in the program.

Next stop: Baltimore bookstores

March 19, 2007

Although I'm still in the process of setting up book events in Baltimore, I do have at least two confirmed appearances for "The Developers."

At 2 p.m. April 21, I'll be at the Marley Station Borders in Glen Burnie, Md. On the following day, April 22, I will be at the Columbia (Md.) Mall Borders, again at 2 p.m.

Besides the normal meet-and-greet that always occurs at this appearances, I hope to give interested visitors a sneak peek at my new book, which I hope to release at the end of the year.

News in space

March 1, 2004

It's amazing that we live in a time period when at any given moment, we could

find out that everything we previously knew about the universe was incorrect.

But so far, it's safe to say that Mars does exist, the sun is at the center

of our solar system and "Space Camp" really wasn't a very good movie.

If you haven't been following the news lately, or maybe you've been busy with

other things, like selling your belt buckles on eBay, let me go over some

of the recent astronomy highlights:

Agents, publishers, reviewers welcome

August 14, 2007

During the weekend, I began a search to find a suitable agent for my memoir, "Polos to Ties." It's fairly ridiculous how many agents are out there, especially ones that still don't have websites. However, I have narrowed the list to 30-40 who I plan to contact. I'll keep you posted as to what I find out from them, in case there's anyone else out there searching to sell the next great novel.

Pagination

  • First page
  • Previous page
  • …
  • Page 135
  • Page 136
  • Page 137
  • Page 138
  • Page 139
  • Current page 140
  • Page 141
  • Page 142
  • Page 143
  • Next page
  • Last page

Spumoni Press

Spumoni Press

If you’re in need of help with publishing a book or developing a web site, check out Spumoni Press.

The Surprise Visit - Caimans at Work

Check out the latest book in the Caimans at Work series! Raymond and Damon are busy with many orders these days. Their friend Clara stops by the shop with an urgent request. Will the caimans be able to help her before time runs out?

© 2021 Ben Woods.

Powered by Drupal