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June 4, 1999

One man's meal has become another man's menace.

Go visit Key West, Fla., and see the melees on the streets. The town is not infested with teen-aged gangs causing trouble. Instead, chickens decorate the roads like I-74 construction cones.

The Associated Press reported the problem, according to one local, is that the chickens "are meaner than anything." The local law allows no chicken harassment. Some residents throw ice cubes at the birds because the cubes melt, unlike rocks or javelins.

June 1, 1999

Some people eat peanut butter sandwiches without the jelly. Others think Cher was better without Sonny.

But "The Jerry Springer Show" without fights? Could that be possible?

May 24, 1999

"Star Wars" has been in theaters for two days now. Is anyone still counting? Die-hard fans have probably already memorized the movie and are currently petitioning for title roles in the next installment.

The rest of us, "Star Wars" fans or not, have moved on with our lives. The movie was good, the special effects and sound were excellent, but there are other things to do, like clean the bathroom or raise porcupines.

May 18, 1999

Fold out a brown cardboard box.

Add five strips of tape - three long ways, two short ways - to the bottom.

Stack a layer of canned goods, maybe some baby food and toiletries, followed by a layer of clothes or towels or another random packing item.

Seal the box with five more pieces of tape, load it and be ready for another.

Crawfordsville residents weren't moving, but they were following a recipe for others who were. No one really knew who they were helping, but the cars of goods rarely stopped last weekend at the Hoosiers Helping the Heartland drive.

May 7, 1999

Most people probably think Crock-Pots, stoneware slow cookers, are about as interesting as clothes hangers. They take up space, are decorated with small vegetable pictures and stand out like a drunk at a frat party.

But the real question concerning the cookware is — how come everything you put in a Crock-Pot always tastes like ... a Crock-Pot?

From the Archive

December 3, 2004

I'm not going to jump on the bandwagon and say the new video game JFK Reloaded is a disgrace. More importantly, a game like this could revolutionize our way of regarding historical events.

March 26, 2006

While it's easy to find numerous things wrong while surfing the Web today (popup ads, no consistency between how browsers work, a lack of sites devoted to applesauce), there's one man who has a right to throw in his qualms.

This man is Sir Tim Berners-Lee, the inventor of the World Wide Web (trumpets should sound now, so turn up your speakers). From the Wikipedia, he is also the director of the World Wide Web Consortium, which oversees its continued development.

August 3, 2008

If you follow the news at all (assuming you are human), you have probably thought a time or two about the economy in which you live. In the U.S., the economy has a feeling of bleakness for some, stagnation for others and, for all of the non-humans out there, a place to find bizarre fashion trends that come around multiple times (plaid shorts and poofy hair, for example).

July 24, 2015

With the 10th anniversary of "The Developers" happening this year (right now, in fact!), I wanted to address a sensitive issue regarding Rick Astley.

I didn't invent the rickroll, at least, not directly.

April 10, 1999

Today we will discuss a simple mathematical equation.

Baseball = Life

On the surface, it's a pretty simple equation. But it can be expanded to read the following: stitches/323(Yankees) * Concession stands^3+tickets - 37(fungoes) = Life