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Nomads have wandered through cities during the last two weeks, sold their goods and departed for lands of milk and honey.
They don't leave a trail, but their wares do – usually ashes, perhaps a foul-smelling odor but always a glowing experience.
Fireworks salespeople have rigorous lives. I recently caught up with one such seller, Smokin' Joe Romancandle. What follows is his normal day:
6 a.m. Wakes up, sings the "Star-Spangled Banner," eats a Pop-Tart and brushes his teeth.
Last month I was in Wal-Mart, and I aimlessly wandered into the vitamin aisle. There were hundreds of nutritional supplement items, but one caught my attention – shark cartilage.
Unfortunately, the label contained little information pertaining to what the product actually does, such as make one lose weight or grow a dorsal fin.
As a kid, I used to see "Jaws" on my wall at bedtime. Now I see health companies trying to withhold routine information on Jaws' cousins.
Can you keep a secret?
Last week, I met with a special agent from the Department of Defense. I had my shrubbery costume ready (luckily, there were no dogs around), but it wasn't necessary. The agent led me into a room in the Crawfordsville Armory, looked both ways and closed the door. The questioning was ready to begin.
Anyone fed up with the government? Ready to turn in your "Made in the U.S.A." clothing? You could have a chance to do just that â€” if you move south.
Southern Party organizers have registered with the secretaries of state in Florida, Georgia, Texas and Virginia, according to the Associated Press. The party hopes to establish ties in all former Confederate States plus six border states and eventually secede from the Union, a la the Civil War.
Last weekend, I was tangled in a crazy game of H-O-R-S-E with my cousins.
For those of you unfamiliar with the game, or think it is somehow tied to the Kentucky Derby, the game is simple. Make a basket (shoot, don't weave), and if the person behind you misses, they get a letter. You keep playing until you spell "horse." There are many versions of the game, including H-O-R-S-E-S, P-I-G, and a personal favorite, D-R-O-M-E-D-A-R-Y.
But which is more important to the game – athletic skill to make a shot, or being able to spell?
From the Archive
It has been a couple of long weeks, but I'm finally stepping back out on the book signing trail for The Developers. I'll be at the Evansville Barnes & Noble 10 a.m-5 p.m. April 29 for the store's AuthorFest, in support of WNIN's Ready to Learn Program.
More than 10 years ago, if someone unleashed a computer virus, there was close to zero chance at catching the criminal. Five years ago, the cops might catch up with the hacker, eventually, after months or years of searching.
Let me stop you first before you begin reading this brief story. This isn't a tale about how a 6-year-old became so good at the video game "Guitar Hero" that he is now joining the Led Zepplin revival tour.
While "Guitar Hero" is an option for someone who is mildly interested in the guitar, it's not going to be a "Stairway to Heaven" and teach actual chords and music. A Fretlight Guitar, however, could be the answer to teaching yourself how to play.
During the weekend, I began a search to find a suitable agent for my memoir, "Polos to Ties." It's fairly ridiculous how many agents are out there, especially ones that still don't have websites. However, I have narrowed the list to 30-40 who I plan to contact. I'll keep you posted as to what I find out from them, in case there's anyone else out there searching to sell the next great novel.
Let's join Google, Wikipedia and others in telling Congress not to censor the web! Fighting online piracy is important. The most effective way to shut down pirate websites is through targeted legislation that cuts off their funding. There's no need to make American social networks, blogs and search engines censor the Internet or undermine the existing laws that have enabled the Web to thrive, creating millions of U.S. jobs.