Skip to main content
BenWoods.com

Main navigation

  • Articles
  • My Books
    • Caimans at Work
    • Corporate Ties
    • The Developers
  • About Me
  • Contact me

Welcome to BenWoods.com

You made it! Thanks for visiting.

Ticket turns into hassle

August 6, 1999

Most sensible people would probably concede, pay the ticket and try harder next time. Not me. Finally, Aug. 2 at 8:50 a.m., the charges were dismissed. I was a free man. But the way it happened was a bit intriguing.

If you can't beat the heat, join it

July 31, 1999

Boy it's hot outside. That's why I'm inside now. People keep talking about beating the heat. You've got to be kidding. You couldn't even beat the heat with a large frying pan. To avoid one silly cliché, I've decided to live by another — if you can't beat it, join it. Here's a short list of things to do to join the heat:

Start a fire — You can burn a lot faster, and burn a lot more for that matter. The folks at Woodstock 99 decided to light a few bonfires, loot shops and get really, really angry. Unfortunately, Willie Nelson escaped with few burns.

Choose words wisely

July 23, 1999

Bad things happen.

There's nothing anyone can do; they just happen. This past week, we saw our fair share of incidents. Nationally, a man whose life has been in a continual spotlight died in a plane crash. Locally, a young woman was found dead after being missing since July 4.

Tragedies strike at all times, mostly when least expected. There are numerous levels of tragedies, yet they all come back to one thing — loss. Losing something or someone can be devastating. But eventually, the void becomes a part of you, while you try fervently to concentrate on other things.

Grass cutting fun

July 16, 1999

In today's society, there are two groups of people — ones who get paid to cut grass and ones who cut grass only because it's their duty to the country. Actually there's a third, smaller group of people, composed mostly of apartment dwellers, kids and travel agents. But they, too, have either had to cut the grass or will in the future.

What are fireworks salespeople up to now anyway?

July 9, 1999

Nomads have wandered through cities during the last two weeks, sold their goods and departed for lands of milk and honey.

They don't leave a trail, but their wares do – usually ashes, perhaps a foul-smelling odor but always a glowing experience.

Fireworks salespeople have rigorous lives. I recently caught up with one such seller, Smokin' Joe Romancandle. What follows is his normal day:

6 a.m. Wakes up, sings the "Star-Spangled Banner," eats a Pop-Tart and brushes his teeth.

Pagination

  • First page
  • Previous page
  • …
  • Page 136
  • Page 137
  • Page 138
  • Page 139
  • Current page 140
  • Page 141
  • Page 142
  • Page 143
  • Page 144
  • Next page
  • Last page

From the Archive

Photoshop is not a verb!

October 9, 2007

I've photoshopped a few files in my time. What? I can't say that? Oh great. I've just used the term "Photoshop" illegally.

According to Adobe Systems Incorporated Terms of Use, there are specific ways to use Photoshop. No, not the actual program, but just the word for it. Yes Adobe, we understand that trademarks are important for corporations and the identity of products.

Report shows amphibians in decline

October 17, 2004

I'm a big fan of frogs, and the reason is somewhat strange. I used to work at an amusement park, and I always seemed to be working at the game where you hit the rubber frog into a lily pad. The word got out that I actually lived in the pond, but that wasn't completely accurate; I just took a bath in it every once in awhile.

Holiday special! The Developers for $6

December 14, 2008

Just in time for the holidays, I've decided to put together a little book sale for "The Developers." Between now and the end of the year, if you're interested in purchasing a copy, I'll send you an autographed copy for $6. Or, if you need two copies (perhaps one as a Christmas gift), that will cost you $10. And yes, I'm including shipping. Stores can have crazy deals, so why can't I?

Dude, you can recycle now

November 28, 2006

If your old Dell computers are starting to stack up in the corner of your home, you can actually do something about it now. No, I don't suggest dropping them off skyscrappers. They are computers, not pumpkins!

Dell recently announced that the company is offering a free recycling service for its used computers.. The best part about it is that it's free! You can schedule the pickup right on Dell's website.

Updated Performance Against Seed Expectations

April 6, 2016

Some of you are probably familiar with the Performance Against Seed Expectations (PASE) metric used with the men's tournament brackets. In short, the metric takes into account how many games a seed is expected to win based on past performances since 1985 (the first year of the 64-team tournament). I use this metric to determine expected offensive statistical totals for the college basketball fantasy league that I run each March.

Pagination

  • First page
  • Previous page
  • …
  • Page 136
  • Page 137
  • Page 138
  • Page 139
  • Current page 140
  • Page 141
  • Page 142
  • Page 143
  • Page 144
  • Next page
  • Last page

Spumoni Press

Spumoni Press

If you’re in need of help with publishing a book or developing a web site, check out Spumoni Press.

Solving Problems

Check out the latest book in the Caimans at Work series! The caimans’ new store is the talk of the town. But with success comes navigating the speed bumps along the way. Have no fear – Raymond and Damon are always up for the challenge, whether they are finding a recipe, picking the right color, just doing laundry or investigating a peculiar mystery at their favorite place - a party, of course!

© 2024 Ben Woods.

Powered by Drupal