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Brush, but not too hard

There's nothing worse than people complaining about a product because it works too well.

For instance, there's glue. Try using that stuff that holds elephants from a trapeze by their teeth. If you accidentally glue the elephant's ear to the swing, the immobile animal will be stuck forever.

Another example is plastic wrap. You try to wrap something in it, but the stuff just clings together. Being persistent, you try to unwrap it. But the static forces that bind the universe won't allow a simple tug to do the trick.

Buy now.. low price... lifetime guarantee

One big disadvantage working at night is the television quality when I arrive home. Sometimes there could be a "Perfect Strangers" rerun or two, and possibly an old game show, but most channels are overrun by infomercials.

Webster defines an infomercial as "a long television commercial, often made to resemble a talk show, educational demonstration, interview, etc." Kudos to Webster's assessment. The only words missing from the definition are "trash," "ridiculous" and "cheap."

Now's the time to become a pirate

There are a plenty of new careers and opportunities these days, yet you rarely see anyone entering the piracy field. Some people have invented their own versions of a shipwrecked pirate - stealing stereos, hacking into computer files, playing baseball in Pittsburgh - but few take their chances on the high seas.

On the other hand, the Assocated Press said pirates killed more people in 1998 than the year before. The International Maritime Bureau reported Malaysian pirates, who killed 67 crewmen last year, are "getting increasingly violent."

Pirates? Violent?

Peeps do not fare well when put to the test

Easter has come and gone like a gypsy caravan once again, but one thing still remains — Easter candy. Checking expiration dates on bags and containers, 1999 Easter candy should last until 2450. People decide to buy candy following the holiday in hopes of big bargains.

A specific type of candy has intrigued many and plagued worldwide analysists with a simple question, "What is a Peep?"

Baseball and math add up

Today we will discuss a simple mathematical equation.

Baseball = Life

On the surface, it's a pretty simple equation. But it can be expanded to read the following: stitches/323(Yankees) * Concession stands^3+tickets - 37(fungoes) = Life

From the Archive

Finding the email of a potential date

The Good Advice Committee had to answer an interesting question this week: Is it OK to email someone you are interested in dating, even if that person didn't give you his/her address personally? The committee members outlined a couple scenarios where this would be OK, and some that would be totally off limits.

The final decision was close, but in the end, the committee voted no, 3-2. Click here to read their opinions.

Mother's Day contest

Are you a working mother who is stuck in a cube all day? Do you know one who is? Sign up to win my books - yes, both Corporate Ties and The Developers - in the Mother's Day contest. Email me, "Like" the Corporate Ties Facebook page or "Like" this post on Facebook to be entered. Do this by Sunday and I'll select a winner early next week.

Don't let Web navigation cause too many detours

I'm sure you've seen it: A Web site that has an amazing design, with bright

colors, animation and various neat effects. But after the awe goes away (10

seconds later) you begin to wonder: Where am I supposed to click?

A large portion

of Web designers have this problem. They think the more creative they

are, the better the Web site becomes. While uniqueness is key

to making a site design stand out, it is important to remember the end user.

That's you! Forgetting that Internet pages should be geared toward the

Ridiculous inventions

A co-worker recently sent me a link to Life's list of 30 Dumb Inventions. I'd say there are probably more than 30, but this list is pretty good. I will admit, though, that I'm a big fan of the flying platform. I could use one of these as a substitute for city driving!

From form to fame

There are thousands of way to make your Webpage interactive these days, from Java applets to Flash to sticking your head through your computer screen and giving the monitor a twirl. But today we will be discussing forms, one of the most elementary ways to conduct hand-to-hand combat on the Internet warfront.

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