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Editor's Note: This was Ben's final column while writing for the Crawfordsville (Ind.) Journal Review.
This will be the last column I write for the Journal Review. I may start them again sometime in the future. I would like to. But for now, this will have to do.
If any of you have column ideas, please still tell them to me and send them. I will keep a list, and somewhere down the road, maybe they will let me do this again.
In a day and age when there are so many different types of people, with various races, ethnicities and personalities, there is one type I'm more likely to associate with frequently.
I have an insatiable and unconscious desire to surround myself with Dr Pepper drinkers.
But IÃm also convinced that most Dr Pepper drinkers are psychotic.
Which comes first is unclear. And calling someone psychotic can be misconstrued, so Dr Pepper drinkers, donÃt take this personally. But ponder the following arguments.
The world's not revolving faster, nor have its inhabitants been hibernating, but time is moving faster. If time doesn't slow down, it could get pulled over, and it won't stand a chance in court.
Vacations have a lot to do with the insane pace of minutes. No, not the vacation you take. The vacation other people around you take. Many people working at the Journal have taken trips all across the United States, even to Canada. When someone leaves any business for a break, the remaining people must suffer the consequences.
Most sensible people would probably concede, pay the ticket and try harder next time. Not me. Finally, Aug. 2 at 8:50 a.m., the charges were dismissed. I was a free man. But the way it happened was a bit intriguing.
Boy it's hot outside. That's why I'm inside now. People keep talking about beating the heat. You've got to be kidding. You couldn't even beat the heat with a large frying pan. To avoid one silly clichÃ©, I've decided to live by another â€” if you can't beat it, join it. Here's a short list of things to do to join the heat:
Start a fire â€” You can burn a lot faster, and burn a lot more for that matter. The folks at Woodstock 99 decided to light a few bonfires, loot shops and get really, really angry. Unfortunately, Willie Nelson escaped with few burns.
From the Archive
"The Developers" book tour is almost over, at least, for now. I will be signing and discussing the book 12-2 p.m. Oct. 15 at the Evansville Barnes & Noble (624 S Green River Rd). He will then make his final stop 4-6 p.m. at the Owensboro Books-A-Million (4606 Frederica Street).
These cities will be the 10th and 11th during my tour. I have had a lot of fun and have met a lot of people, many of whom are totally insane. At least I have pegged my audience correctly!
There are at least 56,828 things to do during spring break. If you have a credit card, or know how to use a stolen one, the number grows exponentially. But there is one activity that rarely gets a lot of hype this time of year.
Some people live a paper airplane's throw away from relatives, but most do not. I'm also betting days, fortnights, maybe even months have passed since your last family visit.
While most experts would jump at the opportunity to tell you that the Internet is a relatively new invention, apparently not all places on the World Wide Web agree. The Institute of Internet History clearly describes the foundations being set as far back as 1839. That's when Aldophus B. Huxley came up with the idea of creating better punch cards, which led to a "steam pattern system" the following year.
This weekend (June 2-3), I will be attending Book Expo America, dubbed the "premier event serving the U.S. book publishing industry." My primary reason for attending is that I'm currently working on a new workplace humor memoir, and I'm looking to meet agents and publishers to pitch my book. I am also interested in networking with others and compiling a list for reciprocal web links. At the minimum, I'll be visiting a new city, so I'm pretty hyped about that.
Oh, and of course, I'll be pitching "The Developers" and my newest project, "Polos to Ties," as I go.
Attention Windows shoppers: You may want to glaze over the next few paragraphs, because this isn't for you.
It is, however, for music lovers who wish to create your own beats on a Mac. I have been using GarageBand for a month or so, and I'm pretty confident that I have the next album to go platinum stored right here on my machine. OK, maybe it's not that good, but at the very least, it's fun to make your own mixes.