The world's not revolving faster, nor have its inhabitants been hibernating, but time is moving faster. If time doesn't slow down, it could get pulled over, and it won't stand a chance in court.

Vacations have a lot to do with the insane pace of minutes. No, not the vacation you take. The vacation other people around you take. Many people working at the Journal have taken trips all across the United States, even to Canada. When someone leaves any business for a break, the remaining people must suffer the consequences.

Most sensible people would probably concede, pay the ticket and try harder next time. Not me. Finally, Aug. 2 at 8:50 a.m., the charges were dismissed. I was a free man. But the way it happened was a bit intriguing.

Boy it's hot outside. That's why I'm inside now. People keep talking about beating the heat. You've got to be kidding. You couldn't even beat the heat with a large frying pan. To avoid one silly cliché, I've decided to live by another — if you can't beat it, join it. Here's a short list of things to do to join the heat:

Start a fire — You can burn a lot faster, and burn a lot more for that matter. The folks at Woodstock 99 decided to light a few bonfires, loot shops and get really, really angry. Unfortunately, Willie Nelson escaped with few burns.

Bad things happen.

There's nothing anyone can do; they just happen. This past week, we saw our fair share of incidents. Nationally, a man whose life has been in a continual spotlight died in a plane crash. Locally, a young woman was found dead after being missing since July 4.

Tragedies strike at all times, mostly when least expected. There are numerous levels of tragedies, yet they all come back to one thing — loss. Losing something or someone can be devastating. But eventually, the void becomes a part of you, while you try fervently to concentrate on other things.

In today's society, there are two groups of people — ones who get paid to cut grass and ones who cut grass only because it's their duty to the country. Actually there's a third, smaller group of people, composed mostly of apartment dwellers, kids and travel agents. But they, too, have either had to cut the grass or will in the future.

Last weekend, I was tangled in a crazy game of H-O-R-S-E with my cousins.

For those of you unfamiliar with the game, or think it is somehow tied to the Kentucky Derby, the game is simple. Make a basket (shoot, don't weave), and if the person behind you misses, they get a letter. You keep playing until you spell "horse." There are many versions of the game, including H-O-R-S-E-S, P-I-G, and a personal favorite, D-R-O-M-E-D-A-R-Y.

But which is more important to the game – athletic skill to make a shot, or being able to spell?

There's a lot of talk about truth going around these days. Not that it is any different than any other period of mankind's history, at least after truth was invented. It's mildly interesting to imagine how truth started.

"Me kill buffalo! Me eat buffalo!"

"No, me kill buffalo! You don't eat buffalo!"

"No, me kill buffalo!"

This surely ended with one caveman eating the buffalo, and the other grabbing a Happy Meal at McDonald's.

If you're looking for directions to some place specific, you can usually find that information at various Internet mapping services. Or, if you want to find out more information about some place in town, or maybe a place you're going on vacation, that place usually has a website.

But what if you want to find out BOTH of these things at the same time, possibly while standing on your head and singing random early '90s music?

Some people love them. Some people hate them. Most people don't understand them, yet many people use them anyway.

While this could describe cellphones, I'm actually talking about emoticons. Even this program thinks it's a misspelled word. Fortunately, there is plenty of information online to give you the background on these wacky characters.

If there's one type of forwarded e-mail that grows old quickly, it's chain letters.