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July 9, 1999

Nomads have wandered through cities during the last two weeks, sold their goods and departed for lands of milk and honey.

They don't leave a trail, but their wares do – usually ashes, perhaps a foul-smelling odor but always a glowing experience.

Fireworks salespeople have rigorous lives. I recently caught up with one such seller, Smokin' Joe Romancandle. What follows is his normal day:

6 a.m. Wakes up, sings the "Star-Spangled Banner," eats a Pop-Tart and brushes his teeth.

July 3, 1999

Last month I was in Wal-Mart, and I aimlessly wandered into the vitamin aisle. There were hundreds of nutritional supplement items, but one caught my attention – shark cartilage.

Unfortunately, the label contained little information pertaining to what the product actually does, such as make one lose weight or grow a dorsal fin.

As a kid, I used to see "Jaws" on my wall at bedtime. Now I see health companies trying to withhold routine information on Jaws' cousins.

June 25, 1999

Can you keep a secret?

Last week, I met with a special agent from the Department of Defense. I had my shrubbery costume ready (luckily, there were no dogs around), but it wasn't necessary. The agent led me into a room in the Crawfordsville Armory, looked both ways and closed the door. The questioning was ready to begin.

June 18, 1999

Anyone fed up with the government? Ready to turn in your "Made in the U.S.A." clothing? You could have a chance to do just that — if you move south.

Southern Party organizers have registered with the secretaries of state in Florida, Georgia, Texas and Virginia, according to the Associated Press. The party hopes to establish ties in all former Confederate States plus six border states and eventually secede from the Union, a la the Civil War.

June 16, 1999

Last weekend, I was tangled in a crazy game of H-O-R-S-E with my cousins.

For those of you unfamiliar with the game, or think it is somehow tied to the Kentucky Derby, the game is simple. Make a basket (shoot, don't weave), and if the person behind you misses, they get a letter. You keep playing until you spell "horse." There are many versions of the game, including H-O-R-S-E-S, P-I-G, and a personal favorite, D-R-O-M-E-D-A-R-Y.

But which is more important to the game – athletic skill to make a shot, or being able to spell?

From the Archive

May 13, 2005

I received the first shipment of The Developers Thursday, so now begins the FUN task of making people read it. Fortunately for you, the potential reader, I've misplaced my torture devices, at least for the time being.

January 6, 2006

My grandmother (mom's mom) recently passed away at age 90, so I wanted to display this article I wrote about my grandparents six years ago. At this point, I still have my dad's parents to spend time with, which actually, I hope to do tomorrow.

(This column was originally published in the Crawfordsville Journal Review on March 19, 1999)

There are at least 56,828 things to do during spring break. If you have a credit card, or know how to use a stolen one, the number grows exponentially. But there is one activity that rarely gets a lot of hype this time of year.

September 12, 2005

Destinations Booksellers, an independent bookstore in New Albany, Ind., is now carrying The Developers. The store has been open for almost a year and is located on 604 East Spring Street. For more information about the store, visit Destinations' website.

July 31, 2004

Microsoft is urging its users to download a cumulative software patch that corrects at least three major security issues in its standard Web browser, Internet Explorer.

If you're not sure if you should perform this update, check the July 2004 Windows Security Update page by clicking here. Hopefully if you use a PC, you are familiar with the update process, but if not, it's pretty easy to do. Just find Windows Update under the Start menu, and follow the directions.

August 9, 2006

My brother, Chris, recently recounted a tulmultuous occurrence in our lives. Here's the text of that fateful day.