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April 2, 1999

The race is on for the first millennium baby. Some experts believe the race should start sometime next week. Every year, the first birth is always an interesting event. Think of the accolades the first-born 2000 baby will receive.

Unfortunately, there's a better chance of seeing Burt Reynolds at a polka convention than predicting the day your child will be born.

March 27, 1999

Hard hat. Check.

Two years' worth of provisions, including 80 cans of Spam and 72 cans of beans. Check.

Can opener. Definite check.

Before preparing for the upcoming Y2K crisis, make a short checklist of necessary items. Because the problems could last until the Y3K crisis, it's better to be safe than sorry.

Is anyone really buying into this? Is a modern computer, which was invented sometime in the mid '50s, really going to believe it went back in time? Even without a flux capacitor or Michael J. Fox's Delorean?

March 19, 1999

There are at least 56,828 things to do during spring break. If you have a credit card, or know how to use a stolen one, the number grows exponentially. But there is one activity that rarely gets a lot of hype this time of year.

Some people live a paper airplane's throw away from relatives, but most do not. I'm also betting days, fortnights, maybe even months have passed since your last family visit.

From the Archive

May 16, 2005

The Developers can now be purchased at Carmichael's Bookstore, Louisville's oldest independent bookstore. The store has two locations: 2720 Frankfort Avenue and 1295 Bardstown Road.

October 1, 2001

I must be way out of the loop.

It seems as if everyone I know is using a chat program. What's worse, it seems as if they are all using different programs.

August 5, 2002

It has come to my attention that celebrities really

do have everything. I'm not just talking about stardom,

money and infomercials selling things like the Flowbee.

If at any time celebrities question whether or not they

are dead, they can find out instantly at Dead

or Alive.