Skip to main content
BenWoods.com

Main navigation

  • Articles
  • My Books
    • Caimans at Work
    • Corporate Ties
    • The Developers
  • About Me
  • Contact me

Welcome to BenWoods.com

You made it! Thanks for visiting.

"Springer" a synomyn for violence

June 1, 1999

Some people eat peanut butter sandwiches without the jelly. Others think Cher was better without Sonny.

But "The Jerry Springer Show" without fights? Could that be possible?

Good prequels

May 24, 1999

"Star Wars" has been in theaters for two days now. Is anyone still counting? Die-hard fans have probably already memorized the movie and are currently petitioning for title roles in the next installment.

The rest of us, "Star Wars" fans or not, have moved on with our lives. The movie was good, the special effects and sound were excellent, but there are other things to do, like clean the bathroom or raise porcupines.

Helping or something to that effect

May 18, 1999

Fold out a brown cardboard box.

Add five strips of tape - three long ways, two short ways - to the bottom.

Stack a layer of canned goods, maybe some baby food and toiletries, followed by a layer of clothes or towels or another random packing item.

Seal the box with five more pieces of tape, load it and be ready for another.

Crawfordsville residents weren't moving, but they were following a recipe for others who were. No one really knew who they were helping, but the cars of goods rarely stopped last weekend at the Hoosiers Helping the Heartland drive.

A crock of a column

May 7, 1999

Most people probably think Crock-Pots, stoneware slow cookers, are about as interesting as clothes hangers. They take up space, are decorated with small vegetable pictures and stand out like a drunk at a frat party.

But the real question concerning the cookware is — how come everything you put in a Crock-Pot always tastes like ... a Crock-Pot?

Brush, but not too hard

April 30, 1999

There's nothing worse than people complaining about a product because it works too well.

For instance, there's glue. Try using that stuff that holds elephants from a trapeze by their teeth. If you accidentally glue the elephant's ear to the swing, the immobile animal will be stuck forever.

Another example is plastic wrap. You try to wrap something in it, but the stuff just clings together. Being persistent, you try to unwrap it. But the static forces that bind the universe won't allow a simple tug to do the trick.

Pagination

  • First page
  • Previous page
  • …
  • Page 136
  • Page 137
  • Page 138
  • Page 139
  • Page 140
  • Page 141
  • Current page 142
  • Page 143
  • Page 144
  • Next page
  • Last page

From the Archive

Find love -- it's right there, under the sink

October 9, 2000

"Believe it or not, I'd rather clean a bathroom than watch a football game."
-- whatever man said this would probably prefer to remain anonymous

I'll give you three guesses to determine where I found this quote. No, not the bakery. No, not the thesaurus. Yes, an online dating service!

The Developers is available

May 13, 2005

I received the first shipment of The Developers Thursday, so now begins the FUN task of making people read it. Fortunately for you, the potential reader, I've misplaced my torture devices, at least for the time being.

New technology adds dynamic messages to t-shirts

September 13, 2006

And I thought Hypercolor shirts were high-tech.

Philips Research recently touted its new and improved production-ready Lumalive textile garments at the Berlin IFA consumer electronic trade fair. This essentially means that in the near future, you will start seeing people walking around with logos lit up, flashing and/or moving right across an ordinary t-shirt, jacket or sofa.

Just so you follow, let's start from the beginning.

What's next for the Internet?

October 12, 2006

It's startling to see what you can find on the Internet these days. Of course, I don't need to tell you this ... you're reading this article as it is. I'm not sure if it's a good thing or not to be sitting at work and have to shield your computer immediately due to something that just popped up on your screen. In any case, it's anyone's guess as to how long the Internet will stand as it is.

Spooky sites sound all right

October 30, 2000

Maybe you are one of those people who are completely terrified of computers, the Internet and lemon-flavored cough drops. If so, you probably are no where near being able to read this column, and if I had to guess, you are most likely hiding in a basement in Turkey. That is, if they have basements in Turkey. So if you know someone like this, please print this column immediately and send it to them because it could save their life.

Pagination

  • First page
  • Previous page
  • …
  • Page 136
  • Page 137
  • Page 138
  • Page 139
  • Page 140
  • Page 141
  • Current page 142
  • Page 143
  • Page 144
  • Next page
  • Last page

Spumoni Press

Spumoni Press

If you’re in need of help with publishing a book or developing a web site, check out Spumoni Press.

Solving Problems

Check out the latest book in the Caimans at Work series! The caimans’ new store is the talk of the town. But with success comes navigating the speed bumps along the way. Have no fear – Raymond and Damon are always up for the challenge, whether they are finding a recipe, picking the right color, just doing laundry or investigating a peculiar mystery at their favorite place - a party, of course!

© 2024 Ben Woods.

Powered by Drupal