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April 30, 1999

There's nothing worse than people complaining about a product because it works too well.

For instance, there's glue. Try using that stuff that holds elephants from a trapeze by their teeth. If you accidentally glue the elephant's ear to the swing, the immobile animal will be stuck forever.

Another example is plastic wrap. You try to wrap something in it, but the stuff just clings together. Being persistent, you try to unwrap it. But the static forces that bind the universe won't allow a simple tug to do the trick.

April 27, 1999

One big disadvantage working at night is the television quality when I arrive home. Sometimes there could be a "Perfect Strangers" rerun or two, and possibly an old game show, but most channels are overrun by infomercials.

Webster defines an infomercial as "a long television commercial, often made to resemble a talk show, educational demonstration, interview, etc." Kudos to Webster's assessment. The only words missing from the definition are "trash," "ridiculous" and "cheap."

April 21, 1999

There are a plenty of new careers and opportunities these days, yet you rarely see anyone entering the piracy field. Some people have invented their own versions of a shipwrecked pirate - stealing stereos, hacking into computer files, playing baseball in Pittsburgh - but few take their chances on the high seas.

On the other hand, the Assocated Press said pirates killed more people in 1998 than the year before. The International Maritime Bureau reported Malaysian pirates, who killed 67 crewmen last year, are "getting increasingly violent."

Pirates? Violent?

April 16, 1999

Easter has come and gone like a gypsy caravan once again, but one thing still remains — Easter candy. Checking expiration dates on bags and containers, 1999 Easter candy should last until 2450. People decide to buy candy following the holiday in hopes of big bargains.

A specific type of candy has intrigued many and plagued worldwide analysists with a simple question, "What is a Peep?"

April 10, 1999

Today we will discuss a simple mathematical equation.

Baseball = Life

On the surface, it's a pretty simple equation. But it can be expanded to read the following: stitches/323(Yankees) * Concession stands^3+tickets - 37(fungoes) = Life

From the Archive

October 18, 2006

Close your eyes and think of two of your favorite smells.

NO WAIT! Close your eyes for three seconds and think of two of your favorite smells (I just thought "What if you never open your eyes ... you won't be able to read the rest of this."). For our hypothetical situation, I've decided to use my favorites: the smell of newly popped popcorn and regular scented Pine-Sol.

December 3, 2009

Microsoft continues its march toward competing with Google by launching Bing Maps. I took it for a quick test run, and in general, it's pretty comparable to Google Maps. There's hardly a discernible difference between the two, honestly. You can change routes pretty easily, look for local businesses and email links to friends. Probably the strangest thing I noticed, however, is that the base URL turns into bing.com/maps, instead of remaining maps.bing.com.

June 24, 2006

People outside of Kentucky might think it's somewhat bizarre that government officials are now blocking state employees' Internet access to blogs that are critical of Governor Ernie Fletcher.

Unfortunately, it's not that crazy. I'm surprised it didn't happen sooner.

The current administration has made a name of cutting off as much negative opinion as possible, and since June 23, state workers cannot resolve the Bluegrass Report and other statewide blogs.

November 2, 2009

I'm still experiencing a bit of a holdup on releasing my new book, "Corporate Ties," for a number of reasons. The biggest, though, is that I want the book to be super awesome and not cause too many issues, which of course, is causing a delay. In the meantime, I've picked up a bit with the marketing side. I've enlisted two graphic designers to assist me with artwork for the book.

October 12, 2011

The Goodreads giveaway for Corporate Ties has been a huge success. I had 400 people sign up to receive a free copy of my new book. Of course, not everyone is on Goodreads, so I thought I'd also do a Facebook giveaway.