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April 21, 1999

There are a plenty of new careers and opportunities these days, yet you rarely see anyone entering the piracy field. Some people have invented their own versions of a shipwrecked pirate - stealing stereos, hacking into computer files, playing baseball in Pittsburgh - but few take their chances on the high seas.

On the other hand, the Assocated Press said pirates killed more people in 1998 than the year before. The International Maritime Bureau reported Malaysian pirates, who killed 67 crewmen last year, are "getting increasingly violent."

Pirates? Violent?

April 16, 1999

Easter has come and gone like a gypsy caravan once again, but one thing still remains — Easter candy. Checking expiration dates on bags and containers, 1999 Easter candy should last until 2450. People decide to buy candy following the holiday in hopes of big bargains.

A specific type of candy has intrigued many and plagued worldwide analysists with a simple question, "What is a Peep?"

April 10, 1999

Today we will discuss a simple mathematical equation.

Baseball = Life

On the surface, it's a pretty simple equation. But it can be expanded to read the following: stitches/323(Yankees) * Concession stands^3+tickets - 37(fungoes) = Life

April 2, 1999

The race is on for the first millennium baby. Some experts believe the race should start sometime next week. Every year, the first birth is always an interesting event. Think of the accolades the first-born 2000 baby will receive.

Unfortunately, there's a better chance of seeing Burt Reynolds at a polka convention than predicting the day your child will be born.

March 27, 1999

Hard hat. Check.

Two years' worth of provisions, including 80 cans of Spam and 72 cans of beans. Check.

Can opener. Definite check.

Before preparing for the upcoming Y2K crisis, make a short checklist of necessary items. Because the problems could last until the Y3K crisis, it's better to be safe than sorry.

Is anyone really buying into this? Is a modern computer, which was invented sometime in the mid '50s, really going to believe it went back in time? Even without a flux capacitor or Michael J. Fox's Delorean?

From the Archive

April 26, 2005

I've been told by my publisher that my book, "The Developers," a book about ... hmm, not much of anything, is almost ready. It is due to be finished May 10. I'm currently busy trying to prepare a few things and make contacts for the books. With the first printing, there will be 200 copies made available to the public, so if you are interested, please visit the books page for more information.

April 24, 2006

If your old computers are starting to stack up in the basement at a rapid pace, there's good news for Apple users.

Apple recently announced that users will receive free shipping and envionmentally friendly disposal of their old machine with a purchase of a new one through the Apple Store or Apple's retail stores. The press release says the program expansion will begin in June.

April 5, 2004

With the recent surge in reality television, I have decided to create my own

hit series called "The Communicator." I need someone to be in charge

of my phone decisions. So every time a telemarketer calls, urging me to move

my phone plan to another galaxy, I will transfer them directly to The Communicator.

At that point, I would hope the telemarketer would be told that I'm locked

into a contract until the year 2348, but that it was OK to call back after

that time.

August 18, 2003

There are a lot of things the World Wide Web can do for you, but healing you is not one of them.

October 2, 2000

I'm the kind of person who likes to know how something works. In a world where many things cannot be explained -- volcanoes, the afterlife, females -- it's good to know there is a logical explanation for Internet linking.

Linking is not a new concept. Marco Polo is said to have marveled at Asia's ability to store files and download directions from Mapquest. How do you think he made it back?