In a day and age when there are so many different types of people, with various races, ethnicities and personalities, there is one type I'm more likely to associate with frequently.
I have an insatiable and unconscious desire to surround myself with Dr Pepper drinkers.
But IÃm also convinced that most Dr Pepper drinkers are psychotic.
Which comes first is unclear. And calling someone psychotic can be misconstrued, so Dr Pepper drinkers, donÃt take this personally. But ponder the following arguments.
Dr Pepper was born in 1885 in MorrisonÃs Old Corner Drug Store at Waco, Texas, according to the Dr Pepper Museum Web site. With its strange history, Waco is an interesting place to start theories on psychosis, defined as "a major mental disorder in which the personality is very seriously disorganized and contact with reality is usually impaired."
The Dr Pepper Company is the oldest manufacturer of soft drink concentrates and syrups in the United States, yet the origin of its name is unknown. For some reason, the period after 'Dr' was dropped in the '50s. It was once hailed as "the most misunderstood soft drink." Some would say this is just a continuation of that slogan.
Enter my test subjects.
A college buddy claims Dr Pepper is his favorite drink. While at school, his email name was Dr Pepper. He moved to Illinois three months ago and has kept every can of pop he has drunk. That amounts to 57 Dr Pepper cans, half of his collection, since May 29. He doesn't "down" his Dr Pepper, like the enemy Ã± Mountain Dew drinkers. "I take my time with my Dr Pepper," he says. "I cherish it. I make it mine." He says he has an "emotionally unstable" friend also in love with the Pepper.
Another friend says a rift between Dr Pepper and Mountain Dew drinkers definitely exists. She openly admits that all Pepper drinkers "are a little weird." She would have to be to be my senior prom date.
Two other subjects are ex-girlfriends. They would both choose Dr Pepper over any other soft drink. One says Dr Pepper is "fun and daring. You should try it." I doubt the drink ruined the relationships. But itÃs hard to tell.
I have at least one friend who loves Dr Pepper who I consider not psychotic. That's hard to explain, although this is a guy who's worn a hula skirt to work and has ridden his bike through the office. But crazy? I think not.
I like Dr Pepper, but not all the time. Wendy's Dr Pepper is the best, possibly due to the waxier cup, or maybe just the extra lovin' by founder Dave Thomas in every cup. I could be considered psychotic sometimes. But I cannot think of anyone who is psychotic who doesn't like Dr Pepper. I'm also not sure why I prefer to associate with crazy people.
Maybe a case study would prove the theory. Until then, Dr Pepper will forever be misunderstood.
And it will continue to be drunk by psychos.