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Is this what the world is coming to? People sitting 6 inches away from each other will not talk to each other but instead, write short e-mails?
Sent: November, Wednesday 1, 2000 11:41 AM
To: Someone else
Did you see that?
Maybe you are one of those people who are completely terrified of computers, the Internet and lemon-flavored cough drops. If so, you probably are no where near being able to read this column, and if I had to guess, you are most likely hiding in a basement in Turkey. That is, if they have basements in Turkey. So if you know someone like this, please print this column immediately and send it to them because it could save their life.
I bet you $100 you've visited an online gambling site.
Ha! What a trick. See, if you said no, but I had to pay you, then it would be gambling.
Online gambling, much like the beginning of this column, seems to be frustrating and silly. For the sake of every potential column reader, I've looked at a few online gambling sites and come to a simple conclusion -- I am sick of blinking Web sites.
Sometimes Web sites don't work. They just don't. There are plenty of reasons, including " the sun was in my eyes," why a particular site will not work. It's definitely frustrating when you know other sites are working, except the one you want to go to, The Original World Famous Home Appliance Shooting Page, just won't boot.
"Believe it or not, I'd rather clean a bathroom than watch a football game."
-- whatever man said this would probably prefer to remain anonymous
I'll give you three guesses to determine where I found this quote. No, not the bakery. No, not the thesaurus. Yes, an online dating service!
From the Archive
To once again prove you might find anything in this column, with the exception of celery, this week's column is about hairstyles.
Have I devised a way to get your hair cut online? No.
Have I made a searchable database with everyone in the United States with their current hairstyles? Not yet.
Was I having trouble coming up with an idea and took the first one suggested to me by a friend? Well, maybe.
Regardless of what type of machine you are using to read this article (assuming it's not some new-fangled toaster), you are certain to see a barrage of error messages. Then again, I suppose that depends a bit on exactly what you're doing on your computer. Sometimes, the messages make perfect sense: "Do you want to continue?" Other times, it's tough to tell whether or not there's an error in the error message.
Most people probably think Crock-Pots, stoneware slow cookers, are about as interesting as clothes hangers. They take up space, are decorated with small vegetable pictures and stand out like a drunk at a frat party.
But the real question concerning the cookware is â€” how come everything you put in a Crock-Pot always tastes like ... a Crock-Pot?
This is probably one of the strangest articles I've ever written, because it pertains to me communicating with a bunch of people and finding out hardly any information. The bad part, however, is the lack of cooperation bodes badly not just for the few individuals I contacted, but the entire book industry.
I will be featuring the Web site Friendster in my August column. If you are a member of Friendster, add me as a friend and send me any comments you have about your Friendster experience.
Friendster, from its site, is an online community that connects people through networks of friends. If you're not a member yet, join and let me know how you like it.