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Is this what the world is coming to? People sitting 6 inches away from each other will not talk to each other but instead, write short e-mails?
Sent: November, Wednesday 1, 2000 11:41 AM
To: Someone else
Did you see that?
Maybe you are one of those people who are completely terrified of computers, the Internet and lemon-flavored cough drops. If so, you probably are no where near being able to read this column, and if I had to guess, you are most likely hiding in a basement in Turkey. That is, if they have basements in Turkey. So if you know someone like this, please print this column immediately and send it to them because it could save their life.
I bet you $100 you've visited an online gambling site.
Ha! What a trick. See, if you said no, but I had to pay you, then it would be gambling.
Online gambling, much like the beginning of this column, seems to be frustrating and silly. For the sake of every potential column reader, I've looked at a few online gambling sites and come to a simple conclusion -- I am sick of blinking Web sites.
Sometimes Web sites don't work. They just don't. There are plenty of reasons, including " the sun was in my eyes," why a particular site will not work. It's definitely frustrating when you know other sites are working, except the one you want to go to, The Original World Famous Home Appliance Shooting Page, just won't boot.
"Believe it or not, I'd rather clean a bathroom than watch a football game."
-- whatever man said this would probably prefer to remain anonymous
I'll give you three guesses to determine where I found this quote. No, not the bakery. No, not the thesaurus. Yes, an online dating service!
From the Archive
Everyone these days is interested in whether or not their sites are listed in Google. OK, maybe it's just me, a handful of companies and search engine optimization people. Nevertheless, there's a simple way to find out how search keywords compare to one another. At Google Fight, you have the ability to compare two sets of search terms and see which one has more results.
A few years back, I created the Crazy Survey. As I received people's results from this largely non-scientific survey, I laughed, I cried and I pondered why there were so many crazy people in the world.
Actually, that's not true. I mainly wondered if anyone thought the survey could possibly uncover the secrets of humanity's desire to be unique, yet be similar enough to others to live in society. Up until now, I would have to say the answer has been a resounding no.
August 21 is National Spumoni Day. Did you know that? I seriously doubt it. But who cares? It's an entire day to celebrate Spumoni! If you don't know what Spumoni is, check out the Wikipedia page. Better yet, let me explain why you should care about Spumoni in the first place.
I don't consider myself an expert in too many things,
at least outside of baseball history, state capitals
and having a tendency to attract strange females. But
after extensive research on determining the best cell
phone service, maybe I have found my calling.
calling! Get it? Anyway, I figured the least I could
do with this newfound ability is to report
I'm a big fan of frogs, and the reason is somewhat strange. I used to work at an amusement park, and I always seemed to be working at the game where you hit the rubber frog into a lily pad. The word got out that I actually lived in the pond, but that wasn't completely accurate; I just took a bath in it every once in awhile.