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Is this what the world is coming to? People sitting 6 inches away from each other will not talk to each other but instead, write short e-mails?
Sent: November, Wednesday 1, 2000 11:41 AM
To: Someone else
Did you see that?
Maybe you are one of those people who are completely terrified of computers, the Internet and lemon-flavored cough drops. If so, you probably are no where near being able to read this column, and if I had to guess, you are most likely hiding in a basement in Turkey. That is, if they have basements in Turkey. So if you know someone like this, please print this column immediately and send it to them because it could save their life.
I bet you $100 you've visited an online gambling site.
Ha! What a trick. See, if you said no, but I had to pay you, then it would be gambling.
Online gambling, much like the beginning of this column, seems to be frustrating and silly. For the sake of every potential column reader, I've looked at a few online gambling sites and come to a simple conclusion -- I am sick of blinking Web sites.
Sometimes Web sites don't work. They just don't. There are plenty of reasons, including " the sun was in my eyes," why a particular site will not work. It's definitely frustrating when you know other sites are working, except the one you want to go to, The Original World Famous Home Appliance Shooting Page, just won't boot.
"Believe it or not, I'd rather clean a bathroom than watch a football game."
-- whatever man said this would probably prefer to remain anonymous
I'll give you three guesses to determine where I found this quote. No, not the bakery. No, not the thesaurus. Yes, an online dating service!
From the Archive
During the weekend, I began a search to find a suitable agent for my memoir, "Polos to Ties." It's fairly ridiculous how many agents are out there, especially ones that still don't have websites. However, I have narrowed the list to 30-40 who I plan to contact. I'll keep you posted as to what I find out from them, in case there's anyone else out there searching to sell the next great novel.
If you are going to be away from your computer for an extended period of time during the holidays, you may want to check out a site before you go.
Authors who are either self-published or with small publishers have an extremely difficult time getting the word out about their novels. Most large publishing houses have money devoted to advertising, and well-known authors usually have their own publicists to handle marketing.
Building a yearbook can be an arduous task. In high school, clubs and/or classes compiled the yearly piece during months of development. Sometimes, however, it would be nice to create a simpler yearbook or possibly even just an individual book that you can share as a gift for friends or family members.
I'm a big fan of frogs, and the reason is somewhat strange. I used to work at an amusement park, and I always seemed to be working at the game where you hit the rubber frog into a lily pad. The word got out that I actually lived in the pond, but that wasn't completely accurate; I just took a bath in it every once in awhile.