You made it! Thanks for visiting.
I'm really, really getting frustrated by the advice Dear Abby hands out to people on a daily basis. Millions of people read this, and many times, what she has to say is incorrect!
Welcome to BenWoods.com
In a previous column, I mentioned that I might try to make the world's largest waffle, and an observant reader wondered what the record actually was.
Of course, I had no idea, so I attempted to look it up. Here's what I found:
It's not entirely pretty, but here's what others had to say about the Ultimate Crazy Survey:
User Comments
Fairly insane sounds about right.
Gloria
Ben, I don't feel crazy. Just out going, fun and fearless some times. I think reality shows are the DEVIL!! Ha ha
Sara
I really do not have any comments on the quiz itself, but thank you for writing it so that I had something to do at work.
Sonya
A few years back, I created the Crazy Survey. As I received people's results from this largely non-scientific survey, I laughed, I cried and I pondered why there were so many crazy people in the world.
Actually, that's not true. I mainly wondered if anyone thought the survey could possibly uncover the secrets of humanity's desire to be unique, yet be similar enough to others to live in society. Up until now, I would have to say the answer has been a resounding no.
Welcome to BenWoods.com! I decided that since my readership was up to about 24 people, I should devote an entire Web site to it. So here it is!
All of my columns published during the last four years should be available here. If not, I need to check the lost and found because it's possible one or two ran away. A key ingredient to the current site is the newest survey, the Ultimate Crazy Survey. It's the best of the ones I've made so far, to check it out when you have time.
From the Archive
To once again prove you might find anything in this column, with the exception of celery, this week's column is about hairstyles.
Have I devised a way to get your hair cut online? No.
Have I made a searchable database with everyone in the United States with their current hairstyles? Not yet.
Was I having trouble coming up with an idea and took the first one suggested to me by a friend? Well, maybe.
(This column was originally published in the Crawfordsville Journal Review on July 9, 1999)
Nomads have wandered through cities during the last two weeks, sold their goods and departed for lands of milk and honey.
They don't leave a trail, but their wares do - usually ashes, perhaps a foul-smelling odor but always a glowing experience.
Fireworks salespeople have rigorous lives. I recently caught up with one such seller, Smokin' Joe Romancandle. What follows is his normal day:
IM tellin' takes a look at a bad joke gone .. er .. bad. It's important to note, however, that one great thing about chatting online is that you do have the capability to make up your own sound effects.
Ben: knock knock
Sean: I HAVE A DOORBELL
Ben: damnit
Ben: DING!
Sean: THAT SOUNDED MORE LIKE A MICROWAVE TIMER
Ben: damnit!!!!!!
Ben: DIIIIIING .... donnnnnng
Sean: haha
My first tour stop in 2008 will be the central branch of the Enoch Pratt Library in Baltimore, where I'll be a part of the fifth-annual CityLit Project. The event is free to both the public and exhibitors, which is not typical for most book-related events. It's pretty annoying to go to some events where either you have to give up a large percentage of your sales or you have to pay an upfront fee.
Fellow Baltimore writer Spencer Compton will be sharing commentary from his new book, "Get Real" at 7pm tonight (Oct. 26) at Red Emma's Bookstore and Coffee House.