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Prediction for 2004: Think 2003

Is the new year really any different than the year that just passed?

The short answer is no. The long answer is yes. The longer answer is possible, but not probable, and the medium answer is, well, I think I forgot the question.

Back to the short answer, which if I recall, is NO! The year 2004 will be so much like 2003 that you will actually be able to use the same wall and desk calendars, if you haven't already thrown them away. Do not fret, however, because last year's calendars are today's clearance items at your local store.

Here's hope for unbiased information

Can you believe anything anymore? I'm starting to wonder this myself. I open

the paper and see accusations flung about everyone from Michael Jackson, the

king of pop, to Arnold Schwarzenegger, the kindergarten cop. Are they innocent?

Are they guilty? Are they both aliens from a different planet anyway?

Amazingly enough, there is a place on the Web that you are GUARANTEED to find

actual facts about many different items. And when I say guarantee, I don't

mean it like, "I guarantee you will enjoy this lifetime supply of shark

Do your friends REALLY know you?

If you're like me, you receive a large number of forwarded emails from friends;

many of them are funny, many are factually incorrect and many are just pointless.

Then again, if you are like me, you have worn an eye patch for the eighth consecutive

year at Halloween, but that's beside the point.

Another popular email forward are those in which people list a bunch of questions

about themselves. They might mention their favorite food, their middle name,

their favorite smell, anything that could help you understand who they are,

SiteFinder leaves Web users at a loss

Imagine going to the library to find a specific piece of literature. The problem is, you remember the words "corn" and "facade" are in the title, but you can't remember the author or any other information. Was it "The Children of the Corn Facade"? Or maybe "The Facade of Corn Flakes"?



Answers to your darkest, deepest, imaginary questions

I decided to open up the mailbag and answer some of the questions that readers

have asked me recently. Then I realized that I'm not Santa Claus, and people

don't send me letters. This isn't completely true, as I did portray Santa in

a third-grade Christmas play, even though I ripped part of the suit just before

the play began.

So I don't have any letters with questions, just comments about various columns.

But this will not stop me from answering some of those questions that people

From the Archive

Recent publicity in the Evansville newspaper

Although this occurred two weeks ago, the Evansville Courier & Press ran a little article about me and my book, "The Developers" just before my signing down there. The paper may do a review at a later date, but I was extremely pleased with Becky Coudret's article. Here it is:

Humor/ tech writer at Border's

By REBECCA COUDRET Courier & Press staff writer 464-7509 or coud@evansville.net

January 21, 2006

Ben Woods calls himself a humor/technology writer - which has to be considered a new genre of literature.

Free fuel for your car

With the skyrocketing price of gasoline (the last I checked, it was cheaper to buy a new car that comes with a full tank of gas than to fill up my own car), many people are looking for transportation alternatives. While the teleport is still under construction (Seriously! I'm almost finished with it!), one thing that is available is a modification kit for your vehicle so you can run your car on vegetable oil.

Library book group reading 'The Developers'

While I've heard possible book groups picking up "The Developers," I just recently found out that one is taking the next step and actually reading it. The Crawfordsville (Ind.) Public Library is in the process of reading the novel, and the book discussion is set for 6:30 p.m. Dec. 4. I will join the group via audio chat to discuss the book and anything other questions I can answer, at least I hope so!

Don't cry Mr. Roboto!

One thing I've become accustomed to while working with computers is that they rarely show emotion. I almost said they never show emotion, but my computer got mad and wouldn't let me type that. Overall, however, computers are nice in that they don't attempt to influence you by giving you puppy-dog eyes. The computer usually lets you do what you want to do, or it closes the program and shuts down. But rarely does it laugh, at least in a way that you can see it.

You always have a chat buddy online

One of the more depressing things online is when you notice that not a single one of your AIM buddies is at his or her computer. Even though you may actually have to do some work (or, at the very least, envelop yourself in Internet "research"), it's always to find at least one additional soul you know that's also available.

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