You made it! Thanks for visiting.
I would gather that everyone reading this column has seen a computer before. I'm also betting that just about everyone reading has an email address, which means this is directed at YOU.
Welcome to BenWoods.com
Surely you haven't been left out of the loop of this year's March Madness. By the time you are reading this, you have probably filled out 50 brackets for various pools, trying to determine if one of your combinations will win that free umbrella your employer is supplying. Another important thing to figure out is if IUPUI is an actual team or if it is just made up of players from both Indiana and Purdue.
You're probably getting sick of me telling you every thing, EVERY SINGLE THING, can be found on the Internet. Then again, you might be thinking, "Sure chief, everything is on the Internet, but what if I want it for myself?"
What is love?
Baby don't hurt me.
Don't hurt me.
No more.
I'm not trying to take credit for the chorus of Haddaway's "famous" song. I guess it depends on who is asked if this would be considered famous or infamous. I still cannot get the image of Chris Katan and Will Ferrell from "A Night at the Roxbury" out of my head every time I think of this song. I'm also one of nine people on the planet who like that movie, and I'm still uncertain why.
I'd like to take a minute or 14 to harken back to the good ol' days of the Internet. You know, the days when a visit to the World Wide Web would not produce lifelike video games, revealing images of your next-door neighbor or a directory of Bad Scrabble Hands.
From the Archive
While the United States Post Office seems to be losing money each month, at least one Baltimore branch has decided to take matters in its own hands - by charging extra postage at random intervals.
The Waverly branch of the Baltimore United States Post Office charges an additional 17-44 cents for an article of mail that can be sent from the USPS Hampden branch for just 44 cents. It's pretty shocking that one would receive a different rate from various post office branches. Before compiling this story, I had to check with my own eyes to make certain this was accurate.
Surely by now, you've started to realize that many of those ads you see on the Internet for free stuff might just be bogus.
Of course, there might be some truth to the "free" part, but that could involve talking to a sales rep for 53 hours, wrestling an alligator or taking part in a survey about going to the bathroom in foreign countries.
Do you have a great idea for a new invention? Do you have the perfect business plan to make millions? Do you have the means to bring peace to the world and bring a fortune to yourself?
Hard hat. Check.
Two years' worth of provisions, including 80 cans of Spam and 72 cans of beans. Check.
Can opener. Definite check.
Before preparing for the upcoming Y2K crisis, make a short checklist of necessary items. Because the problems could last until the Y3K crisis, it's better to be safe than sorry.
Is anyone really buying into this? Is a modern computer, which was invented sometime in the mid '50s, really going to believe it went back in time? Even without a flux capacitor or Michael J. Fox's Delorean?
They say that if you believe enough in something, and have enough persistence to see it through to the end, then regardless of the circumstances, it will be accomplished.