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As I agonize about writing this opening paragraph,
I wonder what type of people read this column. I mean,
are they reading this while they chew gum with their
mouths wide open, are they chewing their toenails or,
worse yet, are they putting gum between their toes?
OK, I really wasn't thinking about that, I was wondering
how much Dr Pepper I could drink. But this brings up
I finally discovered something I could not easily find on the Internet: tickets for the newest Star Wars movie.
Sure, it is still a few days before "Attack of the Clones" opens in the United States, but I should already have tickets in my hand. I'm not claiming to be the biggest Star Wars fan in history. I've never dressed up as Darth Vader in public or dated a girl named Yoda. True, she was from Dagobah. But I do have a lot of Star Wars memorabilia hanging on my walls at home, and all of my action figures are stashed away in places I can get to easily.
This might be too grandiose of an idea, but I thought
I would try to explain the U.S. vs. Microsoft case in
one tiny column. So if you have been following the case
closely and do not need an explanation, feel free to
take this opportunity to play the
Lucky Dollars game.
For those of you still with me (I hope it's at least
I think I may finally be able to enter into the Guiness World Book of Records. The record I have set just recently is the fact that I look like 45,120 other people.
I wish there was an explanation, but so far, I haven't heard one. Why does everyone think I look like someone else? Not that it's a bad thing. I'm not sure if it's good, bad or vote none of the above. But it is amazing I could look like so many different people.
How many passwords did you have to enter before you
started reading this?
A. 0
B. 1
C. 2
D. I don't remember, but I love watching "Password"
on the Game Show Network.
How many different types of license plates are there in the world? I'm not sure, but if you are ready to do a hand count, you could start at License Plates of the World. You will find a ridiculous amount of license plates; not just current ones, but past plates as well. There are also ways to purchase some of the plates, if you happen to be the type of person who is missing that 1930s vintage Montana plate.
Leading to the belief that even reptiles can spot amazing discount store sales, Fisher, a loggerhead turtle, has trekked over 4,000 miles in since July and should reach west Africa in the near future. There's no word just yet as to whether or not the sale will take place at a Wal-Mart or Kmart.
Fisher was released off the North Carolina coast and is being tracked by a satellite transmitter. The Marine Turtle Research Group is tracking him, and you can see the updates at Seaturtle.org.
If you aren't happy with the selection of holiday sweaters that you have seen this year in the stores, you have a few options. One would be to just wear the same ridiculously tacky one that you wore last year. The other idea would be to make your own at We Hate Sheep. We Love Holiday Sweaters.. Make sure you accessorize as much as you can because the holidays come only once a year! You can also choose to window shop and peruse all of the previously made gorgeous sweaters. I'm wearing mine right now!
While I do not consider myself an expert in many things, one thing I feel a bit knowledgeable about is the genre of business-related books. I haven't read all 540,495,317 books in this field, nor do I plan to do so, because most are written by authors who think that because a company made billions of dollars by having its employees wear Hawaiian shirts on Fridays, the CEO of said company is a genius.
I was talking to your computer the other day, and he said you were a little perturbed. He said you didn't appreciate me or anyone else, especially NATO officials, being able to find all kinds of information on you. Wasn't the Computer Age founded on simple things, like privacy and freedom to practice whatever mathematical calculations you wish?