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As you've heard by now, Martha Stewart has been sentenced to five months in prison and five months of home incarceration after being found guilty of insider trading and lying to investigators about it. She has even compared herself to Nelson Mandela, which I could be wrong about this, but I don't remember Mandela making crafts on TV when speaking against apartheid.
Once again, there is proof people ACTUALLY read my column, even years later! The first time I visited Seattle, I wrote a column about many of my experiences there (click here to reminiscence). I also mentioned a car I saw, covered entirely in floppy disks. I asked readers to put me in touch with the driver.
Well, the driver found me ... here's her response to the column:
People who use instant messenger services occasionally receive chat requests from people they don't have on their buddy list. Usually these messages are from random people or lost friends and mean no harm. Every once in awhile, though, a message will pop up from your IM stalker.
I thought I had found some sort of glitch in the space-time continuum. One of the local rock stations plays songs from the band Rush as often as any classic or even current band. But after a trip to Chicago a week ago, where I managed to find myself in the middle of a Rush block one day and not being able to change the channel while "Tom Sawyer" played the next, I realized I wasn't alone.
I'm really, really getting frustrated by the advice Dear Abby hands out to people on a daily basis. Millions of people read this, and many times, what she has to say is incorrect!
Can you keep a secret?
Last week, I met with a special agent from the Department of Defense. I had my shrubbery costume ready (luckily, there were no dogs around), but it wasn't necessary. The agent led me into a room in the Crawfordsville Armory, looked both ways and closed the door. The questioning was ready to begin.
For those of you who huge basketball fans, here's a little breather from March Madness. All right, maybe you don't need a break from the action, but seriously, it's Monday. There are no NCAA games today. Even Dick Vitale takes a day off.
While navigating most websites, you are faced with numerous decisions. Should you click the link? Should you fill out the form? Should you mute the annoying music, which sounds like a cross between a pipe organ, chipmunks and Rod Stewart, being emitted from the site?
If you have a website, I can help you with the music problem: REMOVE IT FROM YOUR SITE! Better yet, I can help with you finding out what your visitors are clicking on your pages. Actually, I should say that CrazyEgg can help you.
Instead of saying, "Look at this cool thing I found on the Internet!" what if you could say, "Look at this cool thing I made on the Internet!"
On top of that, you don't have to have an extensive history with programming languages, either.
Leading off, Green Day. Batting second, Snoop Dogg. Batting third, Tim McGraw. And the cleanup hitter, Britney Spears.
If you think this is a weird baseball lineup, you're right. On the other hand, if I were playing in the Fantasy Music League, I'd probably be in the World Series.
This is not a joke. The object of the FML, according to the website, is to create a label that generates the most revenue, based on the world music charts. Apparently the winners share in $25,000 cash and prizes.