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Some people eat peanut butter sandwiches without the jelly. Others think Cher was better without Sonny.
But "The Jerry Springer Show" without fights? Could that be possible?
Welcome to BenWoods.com
"Star Wars" has been in theaters for two days now. Is anyone still counting? Die-hard fans have probably already memorized the movie and are currently petitioning for title roles in the next installment.
The rest of us, "Star Wars" fans or not, have moved on with our lives. The movie was good, the special effects and sound were excellent, but there are other things to do, like clean the bathroom or raise porcupines.
Fold out a brown cardboard box.
Add five strips of tape - three long ways, two short ways - to the bottom.
Stack a layer of canned goods, maybe some baby food and toiletries, followed by a layer of clothes or towels or another random packing item.
Seal the box with five more pieces of tape, load it and be ready for another.
Crawfordsville residents weren't moving, but they were following a recipe for others who were. No one really knew who they were helping, but the cars of goods rarely stopped last weekend at the Hoosiers Helping the Heartland drive.
Most people probably think Crock-Pots, stoneware slow cookers, are about as interesting as clothes hangers. They take up space, are decorated with small vegetable pictures and stand out like a drunk at a frat party.
But the real question concerning the cookware is — how come everything you put in a Crock-Pot always tastes like ... a Crock-Pot?
There's nothing worse than people complaining about a product because it works too well.
For instance, there's glue. Try using that stuff that holds elephants from a trapeze by their teeth. If you accidentally glue the elephant's ear to the swing, the immobile animal will be stuck forever.
Another example is plastic wrap. You try to wrap something in it, but the stuff just clings together. Being persistent, you try to unwrap it. But the static forces that bind the universe won't allow a simple tug to do the trick.
From the Archive
Hard hat. Check.
Two years' worth of provisions, including 80 cans of Spam and 72 cans of beans. Check.
Can opener. Definite check.
Before preparing for the upcoming Y2K crisis, make a short checklist of necessary items. Because the problems could last until the Y3K crisis, it's better to be safe than sorry.
Is anyone really buying into this? Is a modern computer, which was invented sometime in the mid '50s, really going to believe it went back in time? Even without a flux capacitor or Michael J. Fox's Delorean?
Which of these is greatest thing about the Internet?
A. You can spend hours and hours, even days and weeks
sifting through site after site, finding everything
you ever wanted to know about anything.
B. You can hate
clowns and actually be welcomed to a Web site.
Of course, the answer is B, but only because there's
What better way to cripple a nation your trying to topple than to take down key websites in the country.
I've never been much of a snooze bar pusher, but I can't say the same for some of my college roommates. I never understood why they would purposely set their alarms early and then be awakened six or seven times before actually waking up. That's more than an hour's worth of sleep lost to, in my opinion, just being lazy.
I hope you made it to my column today in one piece.
Surely there was no traffic on the trip to work, no wrecks to get in your way and no coffee to spill on that new "Dukes of Hazzard" tie your grandmother gave you for Christmas. Just like any other day, I bet you walked into your office or computer room, started up your computer and immediately accessed the Web, right?