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"Springer" a synomyn for violence

June 1, 1999

Some people eat peanut butter sandwiches without the jelly. Others think Cher was better without Sonny.

But "The Jerry Springer Show" without fights? Could that be possible?

Good prequels

May 24, 1999

"Star Wars" has been in theaters for two days now. Is anyone still counting? Die-hard fans have probably already memorized the movie and are currently petitioning for title roles in the next installment.

The rest of us, "Star Wars" fans or not, have moved on with our lives. The movie was good, the special effects and sound were excellent, but there are other things to do, like clean the bathroom or raise porcupines.

Helping or something to that effect

May 18, 1999

Fold out a brown cardboard box.

Add five strips of tape - three long ways, two short ways - to the bottom.

Stack a layer of canned goods, maybe some baby food and toiletries, followed by a layer of clothes or towels or another random packing item.

Seal the box with five more pieces of tape, load it and be ready for another.

Crawfordsville residents weren't moving, but they were following a recipe for others who were. No one really knew who they were helping, but the cars of goods rarely stopped last weekend at the Hoosiers Helping the Heartland drive.

A crock of a column

May 7, 1999

Most people probably think Crock-Pots, stoneware slow cookers, are about as interesting as clothes hangers. They take up space, are decorated with small vegetable pictures and stand out like a drunk at a frat party.

But the real question concerning the cookware is — how come everything you put in a Crock-Pot always tastes like ... a Crock-Pot?

Brush, but not too hard

April 30, 1999

There's nothing worse than people complaining about a product because it works too well.

For instance, there's glue. Try using that stuff that holds elephants from a trapeze by their teeth. If you accidentally glue the elephant's ear to the swing, the immobile animal will be stuck forever.

Another example is plastic wrap. You try to wrap something in it, but the stuff just clings together. Being persistent, you try to unwrap it. But the static forces that bind the universe won't allow a simple tug to do the trick.

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From the Archive

Gates ready to get out of court, go hang with Arnold

April 29, 2002

This might be too grandiose of an idea, but I thought

I would try to explain the U.S. vs. Microsoft case in

one tiny column. So if you have been following the case

closely and do not need an explanation, feel free to

take this opportunity to play the

Lucky Dollars game.

For those of you still with me (I hope it's at least

Internet radio close to extinction?

July 3, 2007

Silence never sounded worse than now.

As of today, we have just a few days remaining until Internet radio will pretty much end, as we know it, on July 15. There's a possibility it can be saved, but that remains primarily in the hands of Congressmen, who may or may not even understand what Internet radio is.

Descriptions of web bologna

February 17, 2006

I have never heard of the term "dancing bologna" in reference to ridiculous and crazy design implementations. But if doesn't surprise me that the term exists, basically due to the amount of insane websites that have been perpetuated online.

There's a great article on DanCentury.com that describes many of these items, and unfortunately, gives examples as well.

Luckily, some of the items have died off a bit, but many still lurk, especially popup ads. The end of those will not come soon enough.

Are you dead or alive

August 5, 2002

It has come to my attention that celebrities really

do have everything. I'm not just talking about stardom,

money and infomercials selling things like the Flowbee.

If at any time celebrities question whether or not they

are dead, they can find out instantly at Dead

or Alive.

Upcoming book appearances in five states

July 16, 2006

I will be appearing at the following locations in the near future to talk about and sign The Developers. If you want to check out the book, feel free to stop by, take a look and ask questions. I won't hound you like your mom does to eat vegetables (I've noticed other authors doing that, and it's generally pretty scary.).

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Spumoni Press

Spumoni Press

If you’re in need of help with publishing a book or developing a web site, check out Spumoni Press.

Solving Problems

Check out the latest book in the Caimans at Work series! The caimans’ new store is the talk of the town. But with success comes navigating the speed bumps along the way. Have no fear – Raymond and Damon are always up for the challenge, whether they are finding a recipe, picking the right color, just doing laundry or investigating a peculiar mystery at their favorite place - a party, of course!

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