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Shark cartilage possesses a mean bite

July 3, 1999

Last month I was in Wal-Mart, and I aimlessly wandered into the vitamin aisle. There were hundreds of nutritional supplement items, but one caught my attention – shark cartilage.

Unfortunately, the label contained little information pertaining to what the product actually does, such as make one lose weight or grow a dorsal fin.

As a kid, I used to see "Jaws" on my wall at bedtime. Now I see health companies trying to withhold routine information on Jaws' cousins.

Can you keep a secret?

June 25, 1999

Can you keep a secret?

Last week, I met with a special agent from the Department of Defense. I had my shrubbery costume ready (luckily, there were no dogs around), but it wasn't necessary. The agent led me into a room in the Crawfordsville Armory, looked both ways and closed the door. The questioning was ready to begin.

Truth, justice and the Southern way

June 18, 1999

Anyone fed up with the government? Ready to turn in your "Made in the U.S.A." clothing? You could have a chance to do just that — if you move south.

Southern Party organizers have registered with the secretaries of state in Florida, Georgia, Texas and Virginia, according to the Associated Press. The party hopes to establish ties in all former Confederate States plus six border states and eventually secede from the Union, a la the Civil War.

Words ... words ...

June 16, 1999

Last weekend, I was tangled in a crazy game of H-O-R-S-E with my cousins.

For those of you unfamiliar with the game, or think it is somehow tied to the Kentucky Derby, the game is simple. Make a basket (shoot, don't weave), and if the person behind you misses, they get a letter. You keep playing until you spell "horse." There are many versions of the game, including H-O-R-S-E-S, P-I-G, and a personal favorite, D-R-O-M-E-D-A-R-Y.

But which is more important to the game – athletic skill to make a shot, or being able to spell?

Birds are respected, taste good too

June 4, 1999

One man's meal has become another man's menace.

Go visit Key West, Fla., and see the melees on the streets. The town is not infested with teen-aged gangs causing trouble. Instead, chickens decorate the roads like I-74 construction cones.

The Associated Press reported the problem, according to one local, is that the chickens "are meaner than anything." The local law allows no chicken harassment. Some residents throw ice cubes at the birds because the cubes melt, unlike rocks or javelins.

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From the Archive

Please tell that man to return his jacket to the Riddler

September 23, 2004

Matthew Lesko is an interesting and eccentric character. You know him from his famous stints on both TV and radio infomercials. He's the guy who claims you can get free money from the government basically just by reading his book.

Guess what? More people are on online now

October 30, 2005

The only real surprise in the latest Census Bureau report regarding the Internet is the fact that the information is probably already out of date. Then again, that's probably not even a surprise.

Binary scoring system needed for Olympic gymnastics

August 25, 2004

Perform a Google news search on "olympic gymnastics controversy" and you'll notice 1,230 articles (at least, at this point) pertaining to what seems to be evolving into a silly event.

I don't want to take away the athleticism of the participants. They do things that not even the best breakdancer, which is what I want to be when I grow up, cannot do. But the reward for their efforts is a couple of judges apparently randomly giving out scores. One time, I think I saw the South Korean judge with a Scantron, trying to create a flag pattern with his scoring.

What is the largest waffle anyway?

July 7, 2004

In a previous column, I mentioned that I might try to make the world's largest waffle, and an observant reader wondered what the record actually was.

Of course, I had no idea, so I attempted to look it up. Here's what I found:

Take a break, paint and dance!

July 12, 2007

It's late in the week. You are probably fretting even starting work today. Sounds to me like you need a little break. What I'm about to show you may mystify or confuse you. But remember, it's for your own good.

Time to visit ROXIK | PICTAPS. If you click on the "Paint!" button, you will have the ability to create an avatar that dances. Or, you can just watch some of the samples the site already has available. Regardless, make sure to turn up the music as load as possible.

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Spumoni Press

Spumoni Press

If you’re in need of help with publishing a book or developing a web site, check out Spumoni Press.

Solving Problems

Check out the latest book in the Caimans at Work series! The caimans’ new store is the talk of the town. But with success comes navigating the speed bumps along the way. Have no fear – Raymond and Damon are always up for the challenge, whether they are finding a recipe, picking the right color, just doing laundry or investigating a peculiar mystery at their favorite place - a party, of course!

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