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In today's society, there are two groups of people — ones who get paid to cut grass and ones who cut grass only because it's their duty to the country. Actually there's a third, smaller group of people, composed mostly of apartment dwellers, kids and travel agents. But they, too, have either had to cut the grass or will in the future.
Nomads have wandered through cities during the last two weeks, sold their goods and departed for lands of milk and honey.
They don't leave a trail, but their wares do – usually ashes, perhaps a foul-smelling odor but always a glowing experience.
Fireworks salespeople have rigorous lives. I recently caught up with one such seller, Smokin' Joe Romancandle. What follows is his normal day:
6 a.m. Wakes up, sings the "Star-Spangled Banner," eats a Pop-Tart and brushes his teeth.
Last month I was in Wal-Mart, and I aimlessly wandered into the vitamin aisle. There were hundreds of nutritional supplement items, but one caught my attention – shark cartilage.
Unfortunately, the label contained little information pertaining to what the product actually does, such as make one lose weight or grow a dorsal fin.
As a kid, I used to see "Jaws" on my wall at bedtime. Now I see health companies trying to withhold routine information on Jaws' cousins.
Can you keep a secret?
Last week, I met with a special agent from the Department of Defense. I had my shrubbery costume ready (luckily, there were no dogs around), but it wasn't necessary. The agent led me into a room in the Crawfordsville Armory, looked both ways and closed the door. The questioning was ready to begin.
Anyone fed up with the government? Ready to turn in your "Made in the U.S.A." clothing? You could have a chance to do just that — if you move south.
Southern Party organizers have registered with the secretaries of state in Florida, Georgia, Texas and Virginia, according to the Associated Press. The party hopes to establish ties in all former Confederate States plus six border states and eventually secede from the Union, a la the Civil War.
I typically don't use my website to profess my obsession with University of Louisville sports. But the end of the 2012 season is worth documenting, not only for me, but for the ridiculousness (Russdiculous?) involved.
In January, there was some discussion about attending the Big East Tournament. My stepdad, who splits time between Texas and Louisville, would already be there; my mom, who lives in Louisville, was assuredly going; my brother, who lives in Los Angeles, wanted to check it out; and my uncle, who was overseas until March, was considering as well.
Transferring any domain to your own control is about to be come a breeze. Or maybe not.
Starting Nov. 12, the Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers (ICANN) began utilizing a new Policy on Transfer of Registrations between Registrars. The policy states that if there is a request made on a domain by someone, and if that request has not been denied within five days, the registrar will be allowed to reward the domain to the requesting party.
Can you believe anything anymore? I'm starting to wonder this myself. I open
the paper and see accusations flung about everyone from Michael Jackson, the
king of pop, to Arnold Schwarzenegger, the kindergarten cop. Are they innocent?
Are they guilty? Are they both aliens from a different planet anyway?
Amazingly enough, there is a place on the Web that you are GUARANTEED to find
actual facts about many different items. And when I say guarantee, I don't
mean it like, "I guarantee you will enjoy this lifetime supply of shark
I am not considered a big fan of Microsoft by any stretch of the imagination, so if you are, I hope you will realize I'm trying to be unbiased as I talk about one of the lamest things I've ever seen online. And no, I'm not talking about the Internet Pizza.
It happens to everyone ... you're trying to finish some work, but that crazy guy/boss/stalker chick/cougher/obnoxiously loud lady keeps pestering you every five minutes. How do you solve this crisis?
Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce you to CubeGuard. It's essentially a banner you stretch across your cube entrance to keep out unwanted souls, which enables you to "Protect Your Productivity." Choose from a few standard messages or even create your own custom message?