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Most sensible people would probably concede, pay the ticket and try harder next time. Not me. Finally, Aug. 2 at 8:50 a.m., the charges were dismissed. I was a free man. But the way it happened was a bit intriguing.
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Boy it's hot outside. That's why I'm inside now. People keep talking about beating the heat. You've got to be kidding. You couldn't even beat the heat with a large frying pan. To avoid one silly cliché, I've decided to live by another — if you can't beat it, join it. Here's a short list of things to do to join the heat:
Start a fire — You can burn a lot faster, and burn a lot more for that matter. The folks at Woodstock 99 decided to light a few bonfires, loot shops and get really, really angry. Unfortunately, Willie Nelson escaped with few burns.
Bad things happen.
There's nothing anyone can do; they just happen. This past week, we saw our fair share of incidents. Nationally, a man whose life has been in a continual spotlight died in a plane crash. Locally, a young woman was found dead after being missing since July 4.
Tragedies strike at all times, mostly when least expected. There are numerous levels of tragedies, yet they all come back to one thing — loss. Losing something or someone can be devastating. But eventually, the void becomes a part of you, while you try fervently to concentrate on other things.
In today's society, there are two groups of people — ones who get paid to cut grass and ones who cut grass only because it's their duty to the country. Actually there's a third, smaller group of people, composed mostly of apartment dwellers, kids and travel agents. But they, too, have either had to cut the grass or will in the future.
Nomads have wandered through cities during the last two weeks, sold their goods and departed for lands of milk and honey.
They don't leave a trail, but their wares do – usually ashes, perhaps a foul-smelling odor but always a glowing experience.
Fireworks salespeople have rigorous lives. I recently caught up with one such seller, Smokin' Joe Romancandle. What follows is his normal day:
6 a.m. Wakes up, sings the "Star-Spangled Banner," eats a Pop-Tart and brushes his teeth.
From the Archive
It's hard to ever say never, especially when it comes to email. The advice committee decided 4-1 that while cussing online isn't necessarily a good thing, it can come in handy every once in awhile. Click here to read the final opinions.
If you need advice about something, and you, too, think many mainstream columnists don't understand today's world, email the Good Advice Committee. Surely we'll come up with something you can use to justify your position ... there's five of us!
If you use Yahoo email and you are one of those people who save every email, it looks like you won't need to empty the trash anytime soon.
Yahoo announced that in May, the company will over unlimited storage capacity.
It's springtime, and baseball season, the best season of the year, has begun once again. It's too early to tell who will make it to the playoffs, but it is clear that no team will win all of its games or lose all of its games. In fact, the Mets have the best record at this stage, but without Doc Gooden and Darryl Strawberry, it's hard to see them in the World Series.
Fed up with the Internet? Tired of spam email messages? Sick of your slow connection? Ready to implode the World Wide Web just like it is the Kingdome?
If you are in favor of any of the above assessments, I may have good news for you. According to Yahoo News, researches are exploring destroying the current Internet and replacing it with a new one.
The Good Advice Committee had to answer an interesting question this week: Is it OK to email someone you are interested in dating, even if that person didn't give you his/her address personally? The committee members outlined a couple scenarios where this would be OK, and some that would be totally off limits.
The final decision was close, but in the end, the committee voted no, 3-2. Click here to read their opinions.