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Most sensible people would probably concede, pay the ticket and try harder next time. Not me. Finally, Aug. 2 at 8:50 a.m., the charges were dismissed. I was a free man. But the way it happened was a bit intriguing.
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Boy it's hot outside. That's why I'm inside now. People keep talking about beating the heat. You've got to be kidding. You couldn't even beat the heat with a large frying pan. To avoid one silly cliché, I've decided to live by another — if you can't beat it, join it. Here's a short list of things to do to join the heat:
Start a fire — You can burn a lot faster, and burn a lot more for that matter. The folks at Woodstock 99 decided to light a few bonfires, loot shops and get really, really angry. Unfortunately, Willie Nelson escaped with few burns.
Bad things happen.
There's nothing anyone can do; they just happen. This past week, we saw our fair share of incidents. Nationally, a man whose life has been in a continual spotlight died in a plane crash. Locally, a young woman was found dead after being missing since July 4.
Tragedies strike at all times, mostly when least expected. There are numerous levels of tragedies, yet they all come back to one thing — loss. Losing something or someone can be devastating. But eventually, the void becomes a part of you, while you try fervently to concentrate on other things.
In today's society, there are two groups of people — ones who get paid to cut grass and ones who cut grass only because it's their duty to the country. Actually there's a third, smaller group of people, composed mostly of apartment dwellers, kids and travel agents. But they, too, have either had to cut the grass or will in the future.
Nomads have wandered through cities during the last two weeks, sold their goods and departed for lands of milk and honey.
They don't leave a trail, but their wares do – usually ashes, perhaps a foul-smelling odor but always a glowing experience.
Fireworks salespeople have rigorous lives. I recently caught up with one such seller, Smokin' Joe Romancandle. What follows is his normal day:
6 a.m. Wakes up, sings the "Star-Spangled Banner," eats a Pop-Tart and brushes his teeth.
From the Archive
I was really surprised how good the ratings were for the first week of the XFL.
With the recent surge in reality television, I have decided to create my own
hit series called "The Communicator." I need someone to be in charge
of my phone decisions. So every time a telemarketer calls, urging me to move
my phone plan to another galaxy, I will transfer them directly to The Communicator.
At that point, I would hope the telemarketer would be told that I'm locked
into a contract until the year 2348, but that it was OK to call back after
that time.
I'm fairly convinced I'm the only person left on earth who has not created a Christmas album.
Lately I've been reading "Catch-22" by Joseph Heller. It's a great book
(watch for a review in the future), but I noticed last week that the
paperback price tag was 95 cents. The copy I'm reading is nearly 50
years old, but even still, how could the publisher make money selling
books for under a buck?
If your old Dell computers are starting to stack up in the corner of your home, you can actually do something about it now. No, I don't suggest dropping them off skyscrappers. They are computers, not pumpkins!
Dell recently announced that the company is offering a free recycling service for its used computers.. The best part about it is that it's free! You can schedule the pickup right on Dell's website.