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You cannot escape the Internet. OK, you're right, you can. You can move to Uruguay. But for all the trouble, you might as well find a computer and get busy.
A lot of people have been talking about designing a "homepage," which has nothing to do with your living quarters. Simply put, a homepage is the portal to the most important information on a particular Web site.
Computers can be your friends. No, they won't take you to lunch or buy you a drink. But they can do more than collect dust. Assuming you are human (and if not, don't let that stop you from reading), you probably fit into one of four categories:
1. You still use a typewriter, you're still building a bomb shelter, and your best friend in grade school was Robert "Robbie" E. Lee.
Editor's Note: This was Ben's final column while writing for the Crawfordsville (Ind.) Journal Review.
This will be the last column I write for the Journal Review. I may start them again sometime in the future. I would like to. But for now, this will have to do.
If any of you have column ideas, please still tell them to me and send them. I will keep a list, and somewhere down the road, maybe they will let me do this again.
In a day and age when there are so many different types of people, with various races, ethnicities and personalities, there is one type I'm more likely to associate with frequently.
I have an insatiable and unconscious desire to surround myself with Dr Pepper drinkers.
But IÃÂm also convinced that most Dr Pepper drinkers are psychotic.
Which comes first is unclear. And calling someone psychotic can be misconstrued, so Dr Pepper drinkers, donÃÂt take this personally. But ponder the following arguments.
The world's not revolving faster, nor have its inhabitants been hibernating, but time is moving faster. If time doesn't slow down, it could get pulled over, and it won't stand a chance in court.
Vacations have a lot to do with the insane pace of minutes. No, not the vacation you take. The vacation other people around you take. Many people working at the Journal have taken trips all across the United States, even to Canada. When someone leaves any business for a break, the remaining people must suffer the consequences.
For my third straight weekend, I'll be making a book appearance, this time in New Albany, Ind. I'll be at Destinations Booksellers (604 East Spring Street) at 2 p.m. Saturday, Feb. 4. Destinations is a relatively new bookstore, but the place definitely does great work in supporting local authors. And of course, you can find a lot of main stream books there as well.
I will also be introducing my local publicist, Elizabeth Woods, for the first time. Elizabeth is my grandma, one of the main proofreaders for 'The Developers' and an avid bingo player.
Are you one of those people who have boxes of old business cards sitting around, hoping that someday they might be worth something on eBay? Of course not, that would be insane. Unfortunately, I'm not here to tell you today that they are worth something, because they aren't.
That is, unless you are Steve Patterson of Knoxville, Tenn., a certified cardeologist. He has almost reached the 100,000 plateau of business cards, and he's heading toward 1 million.
One man's meal has become another man's menace.
Go visit Key West, Fla., and see the melees on the streets. The town is not infested with teen-aged gangs causing trouble. Instead, chickens decorate the roads like I-74 construction cones.
The Associated Press reported the problem, according to one local, is that the chickens "are meaner than anything." The local law allows no chicken harassment. Some residents throw ice cubes at the birds because the cubes melt, unlike rocks or javelins.
This weekend (June 2-3), I will be attending Book Expo America, dubbed the "premier event serving the U.S. book publishing industry." My primary reason for attending is that I'm currently working on a new workplace humor memoir, and I'm looking to meet agents and publishers to pitch my book. I am also interested in networking with others and compiling a list for reciprocal web links. At the minimum, I'll be visiting a new city, so I'm pretty hyped about that.
Oh, and of course, I'll be pitching "The Developers" and my newest project, "Polos to Ties," as I go.
If you are at the very least familiar with pop culture humor, you are probably know about Chuck Klosterman. I'm not insinuating that you've read all of is works or anything like that, but perhaps you've heard his name before.