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Welcome to BenWoods.com

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Use Napster while you can

August 21, 2000

I've been trying all day to download Macster, a cousin of Napster. It's just not working. At least I have been able to get a few other things taken care of, such as shearing my sheep.

Search Me

August 14, 2000

I'm becoming rather disappointed in the Internet's search engines. The other day, I couldn't find my keys, and neither could any of them.

Relax and have some cookies

August 7, 2000

I was talking to your computer the other day, and he said you were a little perturbed. He said you didn't appreciate me or anyone else, especially NATO officials, being able to find all kinds of information on you. Wasn't the Computer Age founded on simple things, like privacy and freedom to practice whatever mathematical calculations you wish?

Dippin (for new) dots

July 31, 2000

If you're like me, you could use a big bowl of ice cream about now, and you are tired of hearing dot-com this and dot-com that. Soon, you won'tn be hearing this crap anymore. Instead, it might be dot-crap.

The International Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers (ICANN) has decided to expand the current list of top-level domains -- http://www.thestandard.com/article/display/0,1151,16268,00.html?nl=int

ILOVEYOU -- here are eight million e-mails

July 24, 2000

Maybe I'm in a small minority, but I'm still confused how so many people are duped every so often by an e-mail virus. Let's take this step by step:

A guy walks into his workspace at 7:30 a.m., preparing for another exciting day of whatever. He opens his inbox to find 50 e-mails -- 45 promising him to lose weight, financial freedom or cheap Viagra four from actual friends, probably chain letters and one other with a subject header of "Open repeatedly, this is not a virus," which of course is from virusdemon@viruscentral.com.

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From the Archive

Virtual island not cheap

December 17, 2004

I've always wanted my own island. Wouldn't it be nice to just have a place, surrounded by water, where you could go and hang out and be left alone, at least until someone built a bridge to it? Apparently I missed my chance the other day when someone bought an island online for $26,500. That seems pretty cheap.

Oh. That island is only virtual, in a video game called Project Entropia. So imaginary islands are going for over 20 G's these days. Maybe I should invest in something else, like a virtual bridge.

Book review: "Neuromancer" by William Gibson

January 14, 2008

For the most part, I'll pretty much pick up and read any book, although I can usually tell how interested I'll be in it within the first 20 pages. I found a copy of "Neuromancer" by William Gibson at (no joke) the dump, and even though I wasn't mesmerized by the jacket text, I thought I'd give it a shot.

Describe the earth, one location at a time

August 11, 2006

If you're looking for directions to some place specific, you can usually find that information at various Internet mapping services. Or, if you want to find out more information about some place in town, or maybe a place you're going on vacation, that place usually has a website.

But what if you want to find out BOTH of these things at the same time, possibly while standing on your head and singing random early '90s music?

Answers to your darkest, deepest, imaginary questions

September 15, 2003

I decided to open up the mailbag and answer some of the questions that readers

have asked me recently. Then I realized that I'm not Santa Claus, and people

don't send me letters. This isn't completely true, as I did portray Santa in

a third-grade Christmas play, even though I ripped part of the suit just before

the play began.

So I don't have any letters with questions, just comments about various columns.

But this will not stop me from answering some of those questions that people

This just in ... everything on the Internet is NOT TRUE!

December 9, 2007

Have you ever used a search engine to find medical advice? I have plenty of times. I'm not sure too many people who can read this article haven't used it, whether it be for checking flu symptoms or making sure you don't have the Bubonic Plague.

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Spumoni Press

Spumoni Press

If you’re in need of help with publishing a book or developing a web site, check out Spumoni Press.

Solving Problems

Check out the latest book in the Caimans at Work series! The caimans’ new store is the talk of the town. But with success comes navigating the speed bumps along the way. Have no fear – Raymond and Damon are always up for the challenge, whether they are finding a recipe, picking the right color, just doing laundry or investigating a peculiar mystery at their favorite place - a party, of course!

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