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Quit clowning around with all the MIME types

September 16, 2002

Which of these is greatest thing about the Internet?

A. You can spend hours and hours, even days and weeks

sifting through site after site, finding everything

you ever wanted to know about anything.

B. You can hate

clowns and actually be welcomed to a Web site.

Of course, the answer is B, but only because there's

Trip produces Web sites, headaches

September 2, 2002

I feel it is my duty to debunk a longstanding falsehood about our great nation: It does not rain every day in Seattle. What did you think I was going to say, we were still owned by Great Britain?

Are you dead or alive

August 5, 2002

It has come to my attention that celebrities really

do have everything. I'm not just talking about stardom,

money and infomercials selling things like the Flowbee.

If at any time celebrities question whether or not they

are dead, they can find out instantly at Dead

or Alive.

Extra room to store, share your files

July 22, 2002

Are you running out of storage space? I'm not talking

about your living room closet that contains 58 jackets,

some of which haven't been worn since the Crusades,

a vaccum cleaner, three bowling balls and dust bunnies

bigger than apples. I'm talking about disk storage space.

If you are running out of storage space, or if you

Happy birthday to me

July 8, 2002

Thursday was my birthday. I celebrated by jumping

out of a cake. Unfortunately, my foot slipped on some

icing, and I swallowed a sparkler, but I'm OK now.

Anyway, this column actually serves an important purpose:

remembering people's birthdays. Everyone has a birthday,

except for people over 30 and some miniature golf course

Store your audio there, see your music list here

June 24, 2002

I thought of a new way to determine how many people

actually were reading my column: I decided to hand out

chocolate to everyone who visited any of the four Web

sites that carry me.

Unfortunately, logistics won't allow that, plus I don't

have any chocolate; I ate it all. Instead, I thought

we would discuss music file types and get your opinion

on music taste while we're at it.

Weeding out the pretenders not easy

June 10, 2002

Do you know how difficult it is to determine if a plant

growth is a weed or a flower after two weeks?

If you do not know, either you are a botantist or you've

never tried to plant seeds and watch them grow. I decided

about three weeks ago to plant three different types

of flowers, mainly because I never had before. I told

a friend I'm trying to teach myself patience. Watching

Proper Netiquette includes reading this column

May 27, 2002

As I agonize about writing this opening paragraph,

I wonder what type of people read this column. I mean,

are they reading this while they chew gum with their

mouths wide open, are they chewing their toenails or,

worse yet, are they putting gum between their toes?

OK, I really wasn't thinking about that, I was wondering

how much Dr Pepper I could drink. But this brings up

Time stands still when waiting for Star Wars

May 13, 2002

I finally discovered something I could not easily find on the Internet: tickets for the newest Star Wars movie.

Sure, it is still a few days before "Attack of the Clones" opens in the United States, but I should already have tickets in my hand. I'm not claiming to be the biggest Star Wars fan in history. I've never dressed up as Darth Vader in public or dated a girl named Yoda. True, she was from Dagobah. But I do have a lot of Star Wars memorabilia hanging on my walls at home, and all of my action figures are stashed away in places I can get to easily.

Gates ready to get out of court, go hang with Arnold

April 29, 2002

This might be too grandiose of an idea, but I thought

I would try to explain the U.S. vs. Microsoft case in

one tiny column. So if you have been following the case

closely and do not need an explanation, feel free to

take this opportunity to play the

Lucky Dollars game.

For those of you still with me (I hope it's at least

Pagination

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Spumoni Press

Spumoni Press

If you’re in need of help with publishing a book or developing a web site, check out Spumoni Press.

Solving Problems

Check out the latest book in the Caimans at Work series! The caimans’ new store is the talk of the town. But with success comes navigating the speed bumps along the way. Have no fear – Raymond and Damon are always up for the challenge, whether they are finding a recipe, picking the right color, just doing laundry or investigating a peculiar mystery at their favorite place - a party, of course!

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