You made it! Thanks for visiting.
I meant to do this a long time ago, but I wanted to determine how many states I've covered with "The Developers" reviews. By this count, it looks like 18 plus Washington D.C. It would be pretty cool to hear from someone in every state, but let's face it, how many copies of my book are lying around in South Dakota?
It happens to everyone ... you're trying to finish some work, but that crazy guy/boss/stalker chick/cougher/obnoxiously loud lady keeps pestering you every five minutes. How do you solve this crisis?
Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce you to CubeGuard. It's essentially a banner you stretch across your cube entrance to keep out unwanted souls, which enables you to "Protect Your Productivity." Choose from a few standard messages or even create your own custom message?
Rupert Murdoch, the only reason I can think of that you would change all of the News Corporation websites to a pay-for-content model is that you got your hand stuck in the intertubes.
Are you trying to limit the amount of traffic to your websites? Would you prefer that only rich people read your content? Do you think people will pay not with money, but with Coke Rewards points?
I've made a few adjustments to my new book, "Corporate Ties." While almost completely factually accurate, I have decided to change the names of most of the people involved with the story. Because a few years have passed since the happenings, I think I can be a little more open with people's responses to certain things that occurred. The story line involves following a few individuals through a corporate relocation/layoff process, mixed in with a love story and a large amount of shenanigans. I'm hoping to have the first copies out by Christmas, if plans go accordingly!
The news of my engagement should really not come as a surprise to those who know me. I have been contemplating asking my dear Lena for at least a few months, although I could never be sure it was the right thing to do. I also did not want to make the engagement trivial, nor did I want to partake in the request in any typical format. I devised pieces of a plan long ago in an attempt to be both surprising and unique, and I'm proud to admit now that I succeeded in these tasks.
You are familiar enough with the most recent technological innovations of the 21st century. But before we get too carried away with time travel, it's worthwhile to sit back and relive some of those bad ideas.
You know, just in case you are thinking of the next great invention, and it has already flopped.
Every year on the day after Thanksgiving, the media covers 13,205,129,675 stories about how it's the busiest shopping day of the year. A story in the paper says Biff Smith got to K-Mart at 2 a.m. so he could be first in line to buy the newest Pokemon stuff for his son. Then there's a TV shot of Emma Jean Santaclaus, who purchased $5,000 worth of Barbie accessories for her 27 children. Then on radio, an anonymous man outside any mall says, "Yeah, it's pretty crowded in there. I guess I picked the wrong day to get my watch fixed."
Close your eyes and think of two of your favorite smells.
NO WAIT! Close your eyes for three seconds and think of two of your favorite smells (I just thought "What if you never open your eyes ... you won't be able to read the rest of this."). For our hypothetical situation, I've decided to use my favorites: the smell of newly popped popcorn and regular scented Pine-Sol.
If there's one type of forwarded e-mail that grows old quickly, it's chain letters.
Thursday was my birthday. I celebrated by jumping
out of a cake. Unfortunately, my foot slipped on some
icing, and I swallowed a sparkler, but I'm OK now.
Anyway, this column actually serves an important purpose:
remembering people's birthdays. Everyone has a birthday,
except for people over 30 and some miniature golf course