Your computer equipment needs a bath

There are things I'd rather do than clean my computer

mouse. Really, there are. For instance, licking envelopes

is fun. I also like to cut duct tape with dull scissors.

The thing that separates these other items with cleaning

a mouse is that I need my mouse to perform about 95

percent of my work duties. I need duct tape and envelopes

the other 5 percent whenever I mail chain letters to

my air conditioning repairman.

Cleaning your computer accessories varies depending

on what you own. At work, I have an older mouse that

I can take the ball out and clean the rollers inside.

At home, I have an optical mouse, so I can just clean

the dust buildup on the outside.

If you take care of your mouse, you shouldn't have

to worry about any major cleaning problems. Occasionally

you may notice your cursor jumping a bit or just getting

stuck when trying to maneuver. Usually you can get the

junk out with a paper clip or possibly a canned air

duster. MacGyver taught me a long time ago to keep handy

a paper clip just in case. This is also the reason I

keep duct tape in my tool belt.

Check out this

site to find step-by-step information on how to

clean your mouse. I found a few similar sites, and they

all provided essentially the same instructions.

Here's an important service announcement regarding

your computer monitor: DO NOT TOUCH IT! Every time you

touch your monitor, the oils you leave behind will be

there forever. The only exception to this rule is if

your body does not produce oils, which means you might

be a sponge or a piece of coal.

To clean a monitor, all you need is a soft tissue and

a little water. The oil probably won't come off, but

this is your only hope. You can also use a dab of glass

cleaner, but do not spray it directly onto the monitor.

Spraying cleaner directly onto any computer part could

do irreversible damage to your hardware.

While you're on this cleaning spree, you should finally

clean your bathtub and toilet. Before doing this, it

would be in your best interest to wipe down the keyboard.

Depending on the model you have, this should be beneficial.

Plus, if you share a keyboard with others, it might

not be bad to keep germs from spreading. Did you ever

wonder why MacGyver never got sick? It wasn't just because

he wore Turtlenecks all the time.

I would like to reward the patrons who made it this

far in the column by giving them real-life examples

on this cleaning business:

Chip's

Patrol: This contains briefs on how to clean all

computer material, except your famous duct tape CD holder.

Mocha

Soft: Just be warned that this site's motto is Women

Connecting for Solutions.

If the inside of your hard drive or monitor needs help,

I recommend you notify someone who has expertise in

that area. This does not include MacGyver, unless it

can be cleaned with a kitchen knife and a stick of gum.

If it makes you feel any better, I just mailed a fairly

large piece of duct tape and a reminder to freshen up

to your home address. I thought about utilizing the

tape to seal the letter, but licking envelopes is so

much fun!