Turn nonsense into jibba jabba

Posted on March 4, 2002

Maybe there are funnier things on the Internet. Maybe there is an insanely hilarious site on mimes, and I cannot get to it because I'm still stuck in the box. All I know is that I pity the fool who misses out on this one.

It's called, simply The T'inator. It's mission is to turn every Web page into a page starring Mr. T. It's easier to see than to explain, so click the link above, enter a URL and check out the jibba jabba.

The Web site you entered probably looks vastly different now, and vastly better, with Mr. T photos all over the darn place Also look carefully at the wording on the entered page and notice that the stories are actually interesting now.

I had hoped that the maker of this site would answer

a few questions I sent, but apparently I forgot about

the week-long A-Team convention currently taking place.

Luckily I did find an explanation of how the translator

works. On

The Dialectizer, where you can translate text into

redneck, cockney, Elmer Fudd, Swedish Chef, moron, Pig

Latin or hacker, there's a page devoted to a

translation explanation. After entering the URL

into the specified text field, a script runs that downloads

the page, if it exists, and runs a search and replace

to translate the page. Some of the dialects have more

search strings than others, so depending on which you

choose, you will notice different levels of discrepancy

for the original Web site.

These particular Web translators serve no practical

purpose, unless you are intent on reviving the A-Team

or need a Web site for mimes (translation: ALL WORDS

DISAPPEAR!). There are two others you should visit too:

Smurf the Web! and

The '80s Server ÐValley URL. Like, duh, these

are pretty straightforward, so have a Smurfy time on


More importantly, there is a worthwhile purpose of a Web translator --

to translate foreign languages efficiently. With BabelFish, you can translate

text or websites from English into eight different languages, and vice

versa. The text returned won't be perfect, but the meanings will be

pretty close. For instance, "I pity the fool," converted to German

became "Pity I der Dummkopf." This can't be true, of course, because

after Rocky II, Mr. T refused to speak German, and on top of that, it is

extremely difficult to mime in a foreign language.

If you have a PC you have more options on the site from which to choose.

Chinese, Japanese and Korean characters do not appear on a Mac, plus the

world keyboard, a Java applet, works solely on BabelFish.

Although most of the translators reviewed are just for entertainment purposes,

there is a greater need for their potential to break

all language barriers. It would still be difficult to

translate all phrases and slang properly, but these

devices are on the right track. Futhermore, once they

can translate the universal language of mimes, we will

be able to knock on the invisible door of opportunity

and walk through it with ease. Unless, of course, Mr.

T puts the smack down.