Ava Princess

By Ava

Once upon a time there was a princess named Ava, and she had sisters named Lily and Clara. Her mom and dad were thinking about a party for her. And then she went outside so her parents couldn't see her.

And then she decided to make a birthday cake for herself. And then there was a monster. That monster almost got her, but it was only a person.

It was one of her sisters. It was Clara. And Lily was a princess, so she went back into the castle, and she started writing. And then there was another thing that she wanted to add to it. Her sister was in the picture.

Princesses

Ava and Lily at a fall festival

By Ava

Once upon a time, there was a princess whose name was Ava. And then there was a horse. And then the horse had a prince on it. And then the prince told the princess how to do art. And then she already made art. And then she showed the prince her art project.

THE END

Updated Performance Against Seed Expectations

Some of you are probably familiar with the Performance Against Seed Expectations (PASE) metric used with the men's tournament brackets. In short, the metric takes into account how many games a seed is expected to win based on past performances since 1985 (the first year of the 64-team tournament). I use this metric to determine expected offensive statistical totals for the college basketball fantasy league that I run each March.

Gonna give you up? NEVER!

With the 10th anniversary of "The Developers" happening this year (right now, in fact!), I wanted to address a sensitive issue regarding Rick Astley.

I didn't invent the rickroll, at least, not directly.

Ten years

Ten years ago this month, I originally published "The Developers." It's weird to think it was that long ago, and even weirder to think that I started on the book 13 years ago, in 2002. While so much has changed with the Internet, the key tenets of the book seemingly still hold true:

1. The Internet is a social place.
2. Governments and corporations are always watching.

Then again, I guess these items are relevant in real-life situations as well. It's just much easier to track people (definitely as a group but also as individuals) online.

Pages

Random News

Writing this column has taught me many things

I have learned a lot from writing this tech column. I have learned enough to write a column about what I've learned from writing a column.

Many times, I'll start to make something up, and then realize I could find the right answer. Of course, I hope you want to be entertained, but I'm sure you would also like to learn. So here are the top 15 things I've learned so far:

Maybe overpopulation isn't an issue after all

Every day, scientists are discovering more of space, which, I suppose, is still the Final Frontier. That is, unless you count the salad bar at truck stops, since that is another weird phenomenon as well.

There is an ongoing treasure hunt for sustainable-life planets. That's not surprising, considering the world's population is more than 6.6 billion (and growing, if you want to view). Where are all of the people going to go? There's just not enough space between the croutons and bacon bits.

Resolving your resolution issues

Let's get to the point quickly here -- all Web sites look different depending on various factors: the type of computer you are using (Mac vs. PC), the type of browser you are using (Netscape vs. Internet Explorer vs. WebTV vs. others), the types of extensions you have enabled (Java vs. QuickTime vs. others), your favorite soft drink (Coke vs. Pepsi vs. RC). It's complicated because there are so many variables, more than you had during your entire high school math career.

Start the fire and learn to dance

I like to dance. I may be the only columnist on the

Web who would make such an outrageous statement.

Not to put other columnists down, but I can't imagine

Dave Barry breaking out into Salsa or George Will doing

the Lambada. If I could imagine that, I wouldn't, because

it creates a very unpretty picture. With or without

guacamole.

Maybe if they had more time, they would visit their

Brush, but not too hard

There's nothing worse than people complaining about a product because it works too well.

For instance, there's glue. Try using that stuff that holds elephants from a trapeze by their teeth. If you accidentally glue the elephant's ear to the swing, the immobile animal will be stuck forever.

Another example is plastic wrap. You try to wrap something in it, but the stuff just clings together. Being persistent, you try to unwrap it. But the static forces that bind the universe won't allow a simple tug to do the trick.

Pages

Subscribe to Front page feed