Moving on, but packing few regrets

Editor's Note: This was Ben's final column while writing for the Crawfordsville (Ind.) Journal Review.

This will be the last column I write for the Journal Review. I may start them again sometime in the future. I would like to. But for now, this will have to do.

If any of you have column ideas, please still tell them to me and send them. I will keep a list, and somewhere down the road, maybe they will let me do this again.

Soft drink turns people psycho?

In a day and age when there are so many different types of people, with various races, ethnicities and personalities, there is one type I'm more likely to associate with frequently.

I have an insatiable and unconscious desire to surround myself with Dr Pepper drinkers.

But Iím also convinced that most Dr Pepper drinkers are psychotic.

Which comes first is unclear. And calling someone psychotic can be misconstrued, so Dr Pepper drinkers, donít take this personally. But ponder the following arguments.

Vacations hectic for employees

The world's not revolving faster, nor have its inhabitants been hibernating, but time is moving faster. If time doesn't slow down, it could get pulled over, and it won't stand a chance in court.

Vacations have a lot to do with the insane pace of minutes. No, not the vacation you take. The vacation other people around you take. Many people working at the Journal have taken trips all across the United States, even to Canada. When someone leaves any business for a break, the remaining people must suffer the consequences.

Ticket turns into hassle

Most sensible people would probably concede, pay the ticket and try harder next time. Not me. Finally, Aug. 2 at 8:50 a.m., the charges were dismissed. I was a free man. But the way it happened was a bit intriguing.

If you can't beat the heat, join it

Boy it's hot outside. That's why I'm inside now. People keep talking about beating the heat. You've got to be kidding. You couldn't even beat the heat with a large frying pan. To avoid one silly cliché, I've decided to live by another — if you can't beat it, join it. Here's a short list of things to do to join the heat:

Start a fire — You can burn a lot faster, and burn a lot more for that matter. The folks at Woodstock 99 decided to light a few bonfires, loot shops and get really, really angry. Unfortunately, Willie Nelson escaped with few burns.

Pages

Random News

Keep your eyes open when wagering online

I bet you $100 you've visited an online gambling site.

Ha! What a trick. See, if you said no, but I had to pay you, then it would be gambling.

Online gambling, much like the beginning of this column, seems to be frustrating and silly. For the sake of every potential column reader, I've looked at a few online gambling sites and come to a simple conclusion -- I am sick of blinking Web sites.

JavaScript can make your pages better

In the beginning, the Internet gods created hypertext markup language. This language, known to you and me as HTML, was pretty much the sole programming possibility in the earliest development stages of the World Wide Web.

Sometimes spam messages are worth reading

I would never recommend reading every single message that appears in your junk mailbox, but every once in awhile, there's a golden nugget of hilariousness. Here's one I received a few days ago:

===
Subject: mug factory looking for partner

Dear manager

Nice day to you

The election is over ... so what happens now?

Either your guy won or he lost. OK, maybe he didn't run at all, or maybe your guy is imaginary. Regardless, the voting is over, so it's time to move on.

But will everyone be nice to each other? At Vigil For Civility, that's the hope. The site asks people to basically support the winner of the presidential race and try to work toward uniting the American people again.

Recent appearance in the LEO

My latest stop on the print publicity trail for "The Developers" brought me to the Louisville Eccentric Observer, where writer Paul Kopasz completed a feature story on self-publishing and on-demand printing.

I received a decent write up concerning the steps I took to get printed, plus a photo from my appearance in New Albany. Here's the link to the article.

Pages

Subscribe to Front page feed