Moving on, but packing few regrets

Editor's Note: This was Ben's final column while writing for the Crawfordsville (Ind.) Journal Review.

This will be the last column I write for the Journal Review. I may start them again sometime in the future. I would like to. But for now, this will have to do.

If any of you have column ideas, please still tell them to me and send them. I will keep a list, and somewhere down the road, maybe they will let me do this again.

Soft drink turns people psycho?

In a day and age when there are so many different types of people, with various races, ethnicities and personalities, there is one type I'm more likely to associate with frequently.

I have an insatiable and unconscious desire to surround myself with Dr Pepper drinkers.

But Iím also convinced that most Dr Pepper drinkers are psychotic.

Which comes first is unclear. And calling someone psychotic can be misconstrued, so Dr Pepper drinkers, donít take this personally. But ponder the following arguments.

Vacations hectic for employees

The world's not revolving faster, nor have its inhabitants been hibernating, but time is moving faster. If time doesn't slow down, it could get pulled over, and it won't stand a chance in court.

Vacations have a lot to do with the insane pace of minutes. No, not the vacation you take. The vacation other people around you take. Many people working at the Journal have taken trips all across the United States, even to Canada. When someone leaves any business for a break, the remaining people must suffer the consequences.

Ticket turns into hassle

Most sensible people would probably concede, pay the ticket and try harder next time. Not me. Finally, Aug. 2 at 8:50 a.m., the charges were dismissed. I was a free man. But the way it happened was a bit intriguing.

If you can't beat the heat, join it

Boy it's hot outside. That's why I'm inside now. People keep talking about beating the heat. You've got to be kidding. You couldn't even beat the heat with a large frying pan. To avoid one silly cliché, I've decided to live by another — if you can't beat it, join it. Here's a short list of things to do to join the heat:

Start a fire — You can burn a lot faster, and burn a lot more for that matter. The folks at Woodstock 99 decided to light a few bonfires, loot shops and get really, really angry. Unfortunately, Willie Nelson escaped with few burns.

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Random News

The Developers featured in MI newspaper article

Since the full article is no longer available online, I figured it would be easiest to just post right here.

Ex-Owensboro resident pens humorous Internet novel

By James Mayse | Messenger-Inquirer | 06/11/05

Although Ben Woods has been writing a computer column for years, he didn't spend much of his early years writing fiction. Before moving to Owensboro to join the Messenger-Inquirer and, later, Red Pixel Studios, Woods' last short story was written when he was in high school.

Party's over ... time for real work

Louisville Mayhem on Friday, July 28, was a success. We had a pretty good turnout, a lot of food, people took home some nice prizes (and some silly ones) and we raised a little money for Volunteers of America. Thanks to everyone who made the evening possible, and for the great turnout.

Here's the list of winners:

Carl West - four-color pen

Eric Bailey - bingo bucket

Mary Rising - bingo bucket

Nick Ress - Integrity computer bag

Dave Plummer - tub of cheese puffs

Sharon Adams - smiley face t-shirt

Book review: "The War for Wealth" by Gabor Steingart

If you follow the news at all (assuming you are human), you have probably thought a time or two about the economy in which you live. In the U.S., the economy has a feeling of bleakness for some, stagnation for others and, for all of the non-humans out there, a place to find bizarre fashion trends that come around multiple times (plaid shorts and poofy hair, for example).

Sometimes predictions are wrong

It's mildly amusing to me how people -- the media, your next-door neighbor, the waving chicken mascot on the corner of your street -- will make it a point to remind you how right they were about something they predicted. Maybe they picked Florida to win the men's NCAA basketball championship, or maybe they picked Taylor to win "American Idol." But it's interesting to note how hardly anyone reminds you about a wrong prediction.

Converse with your computer even when not at work

Just like any insane person, I do a fair share of talking to my computer. Amazingly enough, it never seems to talk back, even after the constant urging to get something done or to stop crashing.

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