Relax and have some cookies

I was talking to your computer the other day, and he said you were a little perturbed. He said you didn't appreciate me or anyone else, especially NATO officials, being able to find all kinds of information on you. Wasn't the Computer Age founded on simple things, like privacy and freedom to practice whatever mathematical calculations you wish?

Dippin (for new) dots

If you're like me, you could use a big bowl of ice cream about now, and you are tired of hearing dot-com this and dot-com that. Soon, you won'tn be hearing this crap anymore. Instead, it might be dot-crap.

The International Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers (ICANN) has decided to expand the current list of top-level domains -- http://www.thestandard.com/article/display/0,1151,16268,00.html?nl=int

ILOVEYOU -- here are eight million e-mails

Maybe I'm in a small minority, but I'm still confused how so many people are duped every so often by an e-mail virus. Let's take this step by step:

A guy walks into his workspace at 7:30 a.m., preparing for another exciting day of whatever. He opens his inbox to find 50 e-mails -- 45 promising him to lose weight, financial freedom or cheap Viagra four from actual friends, probably chain letters and one other with a subject header of "Open repeatedly, this is not a virus," which of course is from virusdemon@viruscentral.com.

Honey, I made a homepage

You cannot escape the Internet. OK, you're right, you can. You can move to Uruguay. But for all the trouble, you might as well find a computer and get busy.

A lot of people have been talking about designing a "homepage," which has nothing to do with your living quarters. Simply put, a homepage is the portal to the most important information on a particular Web site.

Your computer isn't just a fancy paperweight

Computers can be your friends. No, they won't take you to lunch or buy you a drink. But they can do more than collect dust. Assuming you are human (and if not, don't let that stop you from reading), you probably fit into one of four categories:

1. You still use a typewriter, you're still building a bomb shelter, and your best friend in grade school was Robert "Robbie" E. Lee.

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Random News

Online hairdos and don'ts

To once again prove you might find anything in this column, with the exception of celery, this week's column is about hairstyles.

Have I devised a way to get your hair cut online? No.

Have I made a searchable database with everyone in the United States with their current hairstyles? Not yet.

Was I having trouble coming up with an idea and took the first one suggested to me by a friend? Well, maybe.

Good prequels

"Star Wars" has been in theaters for two days now. Is anyone still counting? Die-hard fans have probably already memorized the movie and are currently petitioning for title roles in the next installment.

The rest of us, "Star Wars" fans or not, have moved on with our lives. The movie was good, the special effects and sound were excellent, but there are other things to do, like clean the bathroom or raise porcupines.

Twitter, circa 1935

Twitter may have seemed like a new idea when it was launched a couple of years ago, but it wasn't. Check out this Robot Messenger that was used in 1935 at public places in London. For a fee, users could write a message on the "notificator," which would be visible for at least two hours. At least with Twitter now, your friends aren't lost after two hours!

Next stop: Gaithersburg, Md.

Although my summer signing schedule is pretty light, I will be in Gaithersburg, Md., in July for "The Developers." The event will take place at 2 p.m. July 8 at the Barnes and Noble (21 Grand Corner Ave.). I hope to discuss this book, as well as my new project, "Polos to Ties," which is keeping me mostly off the book tour circuit this year.

Get directions to the Gaithersburg Barnes and Noble here

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