JFK learns how to build HTML tables

Those of you who have mastered the art of building a Web site have probably encountered the most important tool known to designers: the protractor.

Coming in second would have to be tables, the backbone to many pages you have visited in your lifetime, or at least within the last three weeks. Tables are the most primitive of the HTML tags because people like to have things in nice readable fashion, excluding tabloid magazines. Most people prefer tabloids that look similar to newspapers more than 40 years ago, which contained at least 343 headlines on each page.

The results are in: Bush, Gore lose to The Golf Channel

I have one simple request for Christmas -- that someone, ANYONE, will finally be named president. Yes, we have George W. and Al, but if they name Al W. George out of Minot, N.D., instead, that would be fine.

What caused this whole problem? The people of the United States, of course, always trying to stir up trouble, whether it's at the local moose lodge or bingo hall. Can't people fill in the correct circles? Can't people count votes right? Can't people use turning signals when changing lanes?

E-mails overrunning a business near you

Is this what the world is coming to? People sitting 6 inches away from each other will not talk to each other but instead, write short e-mails?

An example:

From: Someone

Sent: November, Wednesday 1, 2000 11:41 AM

To: Someone else

Subject: Outside

Did you see that?

Spooky sites sound all right

Maybe you are one of those people who are completely terrified of computers, the Internet and lemon-flavored cough drops. If so, you probably are no where near being able to read this column, and if I had to guess, you are most likely hiding in a basement in Turkey. That is, if they have basements in Turkey. So if you know someone like this, please print this column immediately and send it to them because it could save their life.

Keep your eyes open when wagering online

I bet you $100 you've visited an online gambling site.

Ha! What a trick. See, if you said no, but I had to pay you, then it would be gambling.

Online gambling, much like the beginning of this column, seems to be frustrating and silly. For the sake of every potential column reader, I've looked at a few online gambling sites and come to a simple conclusion -- I am sick of blinking Web sites.

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Random News

Another round of edits completed

It helps tremendously to have the chance to work with an actual editor with any writing project ... especially a full-length novel. Patrick Coyle provided a lot of great feedback with "Polos to Ties," which is probably one of the main reasons I've received decent feedback so far from literary agencies. I'm still looking for a reasonable deal, though, as finding the right agent isn't always the easiest thing to do.

In the near future, I plan to post the first five chapters of the book, but I'm also waiting a response from a second editor as well.

Men vs. women: Who's smarter?

This question is easy. Of course, women are smarter. Or wait, maybe it's men. Or maybe it's neither.

If you listen to psychologists Paul Irwing and Richard Lynn, you might think men are more intelligent than women by about five IQ points on average. The study is due to be published in the British Journal of Psychology.

Pulling out the rug from under the pull tabs

Have you ever noticed how rumors can become fact if they continue to be peddled as the truth? While there are numerous email and online scams that still permeate the Web, one of the greatest scams has been the aluminum can pull tabs one.

You might even be one of those people who are positive those pull tabs are redeemable for extra time for dialysis machines, or that they contain more aluminum than the rest of the can. Guess what: You're wrong!

See the world as it once was

If you haven't already visited Google Earth, you're really missing out. Sure, you can actually visit places in person, but this is one of the best alternatives. That is, assuming you don't want visit random places in the middle of nowhere, which can't be seen anyway in the program.

Three appearances down, many more to go

I haven't quite made it as far as M.C. Hammer, from London to the Bay, but I have made it to Evansville in Indiana and Owensboro and Brandenburg in Kentucky the past two weekends. I've seen a lot of friends I haven't seen in awhile, and I've also made a few new ones.

Thanks to everyone for coming out to support "The Developers" ... and if I haven't made it to your town yet, hopefully I'll be there soon!

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