JFK learns how to build HTML tables

Those of you who have mastered the art of building a Web site have probably encountered the most important tool known to designers: the protractor.

Coming in second would have to be tables, the backbone to many pages you have visited in your lifetime, or at least within the last three weeks. Tables are the most primitive of the HTML tags because people like to have things in nice readable fashion, excluding tabloid magazines. Most people prefer tabloids that look similar to newspapers more than 40 years ago, which contained at least 343 headlines on each page.

The results are in: Bush, Gore lose to The Golf Channel

I have one simple request for Christmas -- that someone, ANYONE, will finally be named president. Yes, we have George W. and Al, but if they name Al W. George out of Minot, N.D., instead, that would be fine.

What caused this whole problem? The people of the United States, of course, always trying to stir up trouble, whether it's at the local moose lodge or bingo hall. Can't people fill in the correct circles? Can't people count votes right? Can't people use turning signals when changing lanes?

E-mails overrunning a business near you

Is this what the world is coming to? People sitting 6 inches away from each other will not talk to each other but instead, write short e-mails?

An example:

From: Someone

Sent: November, Wednesday 1, 2000 11:41 AM

To: Someone else

Subject: Outside

Did you see that?

Spooky sites sound all right

Maybe you are one of those people who are completely terrified of computers, the Internet and lemon-flavored cough drops. If so, you probably are no where near being able to read this column, and if I had to guess, you are most likely hiding in a basement in Turkey. That is, if they have basements in Turkey. So if you know someone like this, please print this column immediately and send it to them because it could save their life.

Keep your eyes open when wagering online

I bet you $100 you've visited an online gambling site.

Ha! What a trick. See, if you said no, but I had to pay you, then it would be gambling.

Online gambling, much like the beginning of this column, seems to be frustrating and silly. For the sake of every potential column reader, I've looked at a few online gambling sites and come to a simple conclusion -- I am sick of blinking Web sites.

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Spooky sites sound all right

Maybe you are one of those people who are completely terrified of computers, the Internet and lemon-flavored cough drops. If so, you probably are no where near being able to read this column, and if I had to guess, you are most likely hiding in a basement in Turkey. That is, if they have basements in Turkey. So if you know someone like this, please print this column immediately and send it to them because it could save their life.

Animals doing the robot

If you're having problems with animals listening to you (Aqua Man, no need to apply), you may want to check out some of the research Chinese scientists have been compiling recently. There are reports that the Robot Engineering Technology Research Center of east China's Shandong University of Science and Technology is implanting micro electrodes in pigeons to control their movements.

Recycling computers easy with Apple

If your old computers are starting to stack up in the basement at a rapid pace, there's good news for Apple users.

Apple recently announced that users will receive free shipping and envionmentally friendly disposal of their old machine with a purchase of a new one through the Apple Store or Apple's retail stores. The press release says the program expansion will begin in June.

A picture can be worth 2,678 votes

Update (09/28/08): The links in this original column no longer work. I suppose that just goes to show how fast stuff becomes obsolete online!

Everyone likes pictures: taking pictures, posing for pictures, ripping up pictures of exes.

Now that I said that, you're probably thinking you're one of those people who cannot stand getting your picture taken.

Book review: "Rob Neyer's Big Book of Baseball Lineups"

As a huge fan of baseball, I enjoy reliving the past seasons, teams and players that I may have seen, read or heard at some point in time. Rob Neyer cleverly combines the best and worst of every Major League Baseball team in his "Big Book of Baseball Lineups".

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