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I would never recommend reading every single message that appears in your junk mailbox, but every once in awhile, there's a golden nugget of hilariousness. Here's one I received a few days ago:
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Subject: mug factory looking for partner
Dear manager
Nice day to you
If you've had enough of Christmas music being played incessantly throughout your region, just be thankful you are not a shark at Loch Lomond Sea Life Centre in the United Kingdom. There, scientists are examining sharks' reactions to Christmas tunes.
Cue the "We Three Kingfishes" remake.
Just in time for the holidays, I've decided to put together a little book sale for "The Developers." Between now and the end of the year, if you're interested in purchasing a copy, I'll send you an autographed copy for $6. Or, if you need two copies (perhaps one as a Christmas gift), that will cost you $10. And yes, I'm including shipping. Stores can have crazy deals, so why can't I?
These days, most people are content to watch "CSI" or "NCIS" to receive their fill of criminal investigations. While the shows are entertaining, they are obviously not real, and as we all know, usually the truth is stranger than fiction.
I suspect anyone who is reading this already has a number of technology gadgets. I suppose this could be anything from a computer to a cell phone to an MyePet (quick survey ... does anyone really have a MyePet?). Anyone with a gadget knows that it doesn't always work right. However, according to a recent study by the Pew Internet & American Life Project, 15 percent of individuals never bothered repairing a piece of technology that broke within the past year.
While most experts would jump at the opportunity to tell you that the Internet is a relatively new invention, apparently not all places on the World Wide Web agree. The Institute of Internet History clearly describes the foundations being set as far back as 1839. That's when Aldophus B. Huxley came up with the idea of creating better punch cards, which led to a "steam pattern system" the following year.
If you're AT&T, and you want to convince the American public that you can be responsible for handling the bulk of broadbrand traffic, cutting out parts of live music might not be your best idea.
But that's exactly what happened during the recent Pearl Jam's "Blue Room" Live Lollapalooza Webcast. The event monitor muted anti-George Bush lyrics, which left fans no option but to listen to a censored version of the concert.
Are you one of those people who can't hold a conversation for more than three sentences without saying "Uh, huh-huh, yesterday on YouTube I saw (noun) and it was (adjective)." If you are, then you probably already know that the YouTube Video Awards were announced recently.
If not, you should click on the link above to check out the winners. Or, if you prefer to play Mad Libs (or Mad Glibs), I would recommend that you (verb) somewhere else.
I may have been the last person on earth to pick up any of the "Harry Potter" books, but I'm pretty certain I wasn't the last one finished. It's amazing to me the number of people who have at least read book one, let alone the number who have actually finished the series.
See that guy in the office next to you? He might be crazy, but he's not quite as crazy as he was a few years ago.
According to my extremely scientific Ultimate Crazy Survey, readers have decreased their craziness by almost three points, from 37 to 34.3. These results were determined by taking the square root of each participant's name, converted into ASCII values, multiplied by a factorial of Avogadro's Number, depending on what time zone you live in. Or maybe it was just by taking point totals from each question, I cannot remember.